two more weeks......
perth trip....oh yeah....parkouring in the middle of the night with my boys...
shit....i havent prepare anything for the trip....all i know that i need to get myself a freakin camera...hahas..
shades...pair of snickers...and a sweater...and some australian currency....

aite....i kept on having this bad feeling....i dont know why...and its getting stronger everyday....i have always trusted my gut feelings for as long as i lived...drats...i hate this and it is distracting me while studying for my freakin A'maths paper....watever is happening tmrw....let it happen...i have lived through this before...and it dosent kill me.....but it has made me stronger....so come what may....i'm going to fight.....bring it on...

this is seriously ridiculous....i have forgotten you and moved on....things started out okay....for me....but then ppl just started making rumours of me liking you....and that story was like....ages ago.....even though its true now...but seriously i know that all of them are hiding something from me....well its up to you....but sooner or later....i know that i will find out everything....i'll just wait for that time....

like i said.....i have lived through this...although i thought that this kills me....actually it has made me stronger....and this would really make me even stronger....cmon....bring it on....

things that has been going on in my head...seriously...

i have been thinking about lots of thinks....life....lots of things that has been happening to this world...
then i asked myself...why cant be happy?well thats because in my opinion they cannot accept the chsnges that has been happening...well actually life is all about balance,change,paradox,humour and compassion...i dont see that happenning in this world....oh what the hell....nevertheless...i'm quite happy...beginning to settle in and getting used to the changes at school(except coping with all the maths....oh well)...what to do...actually i feel i can do 9 subjects.....trust me ...and we'll see how it turns out at the end...

yes....as usual...encountered a lot of ignorant ppl.....but when i dared them to do things which i did....they backed out....hahas.....so much for their thrash talk.....you know who you are when youre reading this...cowards...hahas...their only strength....thrash talk...this is for those ppl.....if yall cant do it and only talk and talk.....shut the hell up or youll regret it......yall dig?!

honour....dignity..respect...pride..these are the values i have lived for...my only purpose in life is just to bring honour to my family and everyone around me....they say what i have been doing now is just a total watse of time and energy....but let me tell you something...i am goingto prove you all wrong and youll see me what i have become in ten years time....just wait for it..

have been thinking about death lately....i have been wondering how i am going to die....what i am going to die as...whether or not as a fighter...a descent man who beat his way through life and then died while attempting to change his stars completely....die as a hermit who does not want to do anything with the world he is living in....or die as an ignorant coward who thinks that he got no purpose in life and would be better off without him....actaully...everybody deserves to live his life to the fullest....the greatest gift is the gift of life.....so start appreciating it instead of whining over and think it is useless...no one deserves my respect if he commited suicide...ppl spent billions of dollars on cloning humans.....thought that they can go against Nature by asexual reproduction...and none of them are successful...even by a bit....such a waste of money....so thank god that all of you are living in this world to think that life is just priceless and no money or anything in this world can buy a person's life...ppl who deserves my respects are those patriots who die for what they believed in.....honour,dignity,brotherhood and loyalty...only those who died trying and never gives up until he is dead deserves my respect.....because he is willing to change...since he realised that things would never go his way and appreciate all the simple things in life...then they will be happy...life is all about change, paradox and humour and nothing else....but if i were to be given a choice...i would want to die as a fighter.....knowing the consequences if i failed and accepting it sincerely...taking risks and gamble...getting to adapt to the changes around me and see things way beyond books, pen,and paper...i wish i would die as a warrior who would be willing to die for his country....and appreciating all the simple things in life....especially his family..his foundation in life....and just be happy about it...

ppl have been telling me...a traceur who masters le parkour can be a dangerous criminal... because anytime that tracuer can break into houses applying all the skills he had learnt...rob everything that is valuable in that house...then i told her...it is the same thing that people learnt fencing or other various martial arts to kill....not to defend their life and honour....it is also the same concept as a highly educated man who uses his knowledge to cheat people...instead of doing good and contributing to the society...well isnt that a criminal act too....so...wtf...it is just a matter of self discipline the guy have in his heart...whether he is willing to go against his temptations and resist it....well so much for good people in this world....and that is why i think good ppl die early....coz they cant bear to see all the evil that has been going around the world....oh wells...

i skipped training again...though i didnt want to...loved training...but sometimes i just needed the break...lots of things been happening in just five days...haiz...feeling really exhausted right now...and U-20s will be on this weekend..cmon its just a team event...dont really give a damn about it...just have fun....hahas...no...i am not sick of fencing and will never be...its now in my blood...i always think about fencing...how i will look at myself in ten years' time...hahas...army officer eh?wish i could be....in fact its what i want to be since i was 5...a combat pilot...but i dunno if my height will be suitable to pilot an aircraft....oh wells..hope i would grow more before i reach 18.....hahas..how she would be in ten years' time....crap...would you stop thinking about her for once..dang i know you still like her nazri but..now you want to clear everything up before you turn your attention to your A'maths TYS....anyway im a bit crazy right now...

oh yes...i am going to perth with some other sutdentsfor this march holidays....going there representing the school's choir....oh yes i;m excited alright....so it will be me amd hafiz and jon and kevin parkouring in perth at the service apartment in the middle of the night....hahas....yes i got the chance to meet my friends there too....alyce,hollie and jemma...who would not be excited tell me...
but after the whole trip..got to do this prsentation for the school during assembly....as expected.....but i dont think i will be involved in that thing......hahahas.....

untitled

i used to love you..
i used to want you...
though i never get your answer....
i never meant to let you go....

now youve gone....far away...
now you have left me...
from the very moment i needed you..
and i never get to say sorry...

i regret letting you go...
and let you go for someone else...
but please accept the fact and dont you lie to Fate...
im sure that is the best for you..

dont even think of coming back...
i am not good enough for you...
i will beg and ask you..
dont you ever leave him....
for me...

aite...now im making an effort to forget you...so far im letting go of you...slowly..still thinking bout you..feels like ten years is too long to wait...oh well...dont know what i am going to do...its quite painfull...when i got nth to do...suddenly i saw you..straight away remembered all that times when i feel happy..hahas..double the pain..i kept thinking myself that i dont need you in my life but i dont want to believe that you the best ive ever had in my heart...cant believe that sometimes you can be so dumb...ready to let him go all of the sudden...what the hell...you dont even know whether he likes you or that girl...then you want to give up so suddenly...i dont even think that she is that pretty...i mean..get your facts right first before you react..hey...dont give a damn about anyone first...that is why if you havent..go tell him as soon as you can...dont you care about your fears..just do it...do what you have to do..then you will be at peace...cmon..this is soo not you...

haiz..

drats...relly hated it...i know that i'm really weak in my maths..btoh of them..but i can say that my three sciences are my forte...when i checked through the subjects combinations...OH MY GOD!!!!(sarcasm)...they didnt offer H1 maths for the science stream...its at least H2....darn it...oh well..so much for my forte..very useless without that 'A' maths...which i constantly get f9 grade for it..oh yeah...never passed a single A'msths test...see what i mean...things will never go my way...now im fighting for that place...wish that i could just pass that stupid A'maths for once....oh God pls help me!!!

alrite...school was fine...i guess..
damn that lab assistant..whats wrong with me parkouring?
huh...i break my leg...thats my ass..not yours..
anyway i am speaking to everyone here..i am NOT crazy....aite!!!
whats all this.."hey its the crazy guy?" what the heck!!
anyway...i dont injure ppl when i parkour...dont worry abt me breaking my leg or dislocate my arm or whatever...
i am not like those bunch of punks and idiot who perform stunts that is beyond their limit...
and end up getting injured...
i take small bites at a time...never bite off more than i can chew...y'all dig?!
never fails to grab attention when i parkour...oh well..hahas..not so popular in singapore..

my day...as usual normal and confusing

today was really tiring...well thats because i didnt sleep for the whole nite then parkour with yue hern..oh yeah i made my first parkour video taken by bryce...me making the leap of faith at the hall...half-naked....hahas..it was really damn scary coz..it was as good as jumping off from the second storey to the first...but with the help of those mattresses which belonged to the dance ensemble ppl....then practice all my landings...taught yue hern how to parkour only how to jump and land...the most basic and crucial technique...
i got a lot of hw to do and i am deprived of sleep....haiz...what to do...that parkour session really helped me to forget everything that happened in my mind last nite...hahas..what to do...just sweat it out and 'fly'!!!!must i always fight through to succeed...how i wish that things would sometimes go my way...for once..then i would have the easy way out....NEVER!!!things never go the way you want it to be...u got to earn it....and make it go your way...thats is one of the basic rules of Nature...i think....animal instincts...i realised that respect will never go to you...you gotta get....how...by giving respect itself...

cant help it...i can be tough on myself and i will be...cant stop thinkin bout you....even when im determined not to.....oh yes...but when i wake up from this 'fantasy'...boy it hurts me...realised that there is already somebody else in your heart...oh well....i'll just wait..hahas..

letting you go...forgetting you

tsk...didnt want to sleep..i got no mood..at last i found out the truth...realised that ive been trying to run away from Fate..and the fact i got it all wrong...im so embarressed...i wish i can get drunk...getting over this shit..but i cant drink...oh well..when i found out whos that lucky guy actually...i was relly happy for you...even though my heart now have broken to a thousand bits..now i'm willing to let you go..i'll just forget you..

thanks for letting me feel those emotoins for the first time..those stares,glances,gazing into each others' eyes and trying to read youre mind at the same time..i really enjoyed every moment of it..and will cherish it for as long as i live..i really loved you..and as i said..i would do almost anything for to make you happy...i guess letting you go would be the best thing...hahas..recallimg those incidents..and all those blog entries i have made..hahahas..how embarrassing..dont want to believe the truth....Now i know how it feels to be 'slapped' at the face..actually felt this loads of time...but this is the most significant..come to think of it..i'll never be good enough for you..never..a fat idotic boy who thinks that he can chage the stars totally..hahahahahahawell i dont want to toy with my feelings now..very crucial year..also dont want to mess with yours..its ok for me to be hurt...so long as youre not..told you ill always be happy for you..

if youre woorying about me..(like hell you would)..dont..i'll do just fine..im a risk taker..dont give a damn about me..go to him..tell him before its too late..or youll regret it..no matter what..im sure hell appreciate you..saying this just want you to be happy and thats it...

look..even if goes well..i will see what you have become in ten years time..i'll wait for the next ten years..see if i can have another chance..gambling these ten years..tsk..gd luck..this is the last entry me writing about you most probably...

i'll wait...

parkour....fencing..craziness...adrenalin..curious..read it..you'll understand..

so tired...but relaxed...
aite...i just finished parkouring round my neighbourhood..had fun...but i didnt notice that ppl were looking at me from everywhere....shit...im screwed...i was supposed to parkour with azhairul but he got other stuff to do so i might as well do it alone...oh well..i vaulted...did a kong vault and a gate vault and a turn vault....still havent do a speed vault and a palm spin...my tic tac just suck la...not to mention my handstand...havent tried a horizontal jump move thingy i forgot wat is it called...lol..backflip...frontflip...flip...and another damn freaking difficult move i dont noe wad it is called..theres a lot of moves to learn in 5 years before i can make my own parkour vid....hahas..
dont know why....le parkour just relaxes me..it helps me forgot all my problems...and frustrations..i felt clam...and also it is addictive...makes you wanna do more till you really drop...too fatigue..hahahas...thanks to parkour i earned the nickname"crazy guy" and "crazy monkey" at skool...as usual i get a lot of insults and discriminations from ppl...full of sarcasm..dare me to do the really impossible..really made me blow my top...i just swallowed it up...ignorant ppl..not to mention childish...the only reason why they make fun of me is bcoz they couldnt do it or too afraid to do it...so to all those cowards...dont make me whop your ass...if not really you would regret it...haiz..besides wad ive been doing had attracted a number of my friends to join in...some of them were my friends...my juniors and some other freshmen...there is a possibility that i can form Tanglin Secondary School Parkour before i leave this school....lols...TSSPK...not bad...a thing to remember...
in life there is only two type of people...those who do crazy things...and those who loved to watch crazy ppl do crazy stuff...im am the first type...the adrenalin rush really calms me down...yes i feel good..
to me le parkour means just to run and overcome an obstacle before we reach to the next destination..i got that from david belle...the inventor of parkour..le parkour is just more than an extreme sport...it is an art of movement....

now that is parkour..talking about fencing..at first i took fencing when i was 13 because i loved fighting...cannot blame an aggresive boy at that time who cant control his aggressiveness..but soon during training i learned how to control it thanks to all the foil training..which teaches a fencer self control and technique..i was being coached by ms Lim at that time..she really nags at you until you get it right..lols..she really reminded me of my mother.....then i learned how to apply my aggression and manage my anger by learning a bout the sabre...coached by mr Wong...he can be very temperamental...and vent his anger by giving me 1-on-1 lessons...at the end i got markings and briuses...and demoralised....due to all my wrong movements...and the scoldings...but i didnt quit because i believed that good things happen later...so work hard now....that was what he taught me...mr Wong taught me more than just fencing....he even taught me about politics and physics as well..history..and also bio...during one session of training!....lols..i respected him lots and he is like my father...we were really close and i know wad he one me to be....same as wad my father and i want me to be....makin it to the national team...yeah i would go for it for mr Wong,my dad and i..

fencing itself teaches me a lot..its history and the significance of a sword..how chivalry was formed from a sword itself...a lot of famous ppl are fencers...even politicians...fencing with the help of the philosophies i learnt have made me a lot mature and wise now i can say...the way of the warrior...and also wad it takes to be a Man...i learnt that fencing is an art of defence...and can be also used for killing...so its up to me to decide whether to defend my honor by defending myself...or destroy it by spilling my enemies' blood..i understand that i only i can make a diffrence to my life...not what i am now...but i what have become in ten years time...that is wad im looking for...
ppl call me weird and because they say that an average 15 going on 16 teenager couldnt care less about this stuff and all they want to do is to study hard and play harder...or the other way round...let me tell y'all...i am still NAZRI...the one you all used to know...only that i have stopped becoming ignorant and start thinking about the spiritual side of life..which is all about love,paradox,change,compassion,irony,humour..thats all about it ...and i am still that NAZRI who is still very lovesick...the one who really is in love with her..cant tell wad will happen...only time will tell...all in ten years' time...see what you have become..

Nazri..

damn it..aaaarrrrrgggghhhh

aite....todae was so fcuked up..it nothing wrong with the training..except mr Wong start scolding us about the eqpiutments...i dont give a damn about that...anyway...ms Lim...the one who had trained me basic fencing when i was sec 1....came back...wwwwoooooo hhhhhhoooooo...missed her lots lah....almost two years havent come back....i feel i want to train my foil all over again...i lost control over my ponit since i was so used to sabre...training was tough....it gets tougher when mr. Wong is conducting footwork lessons....after thet it feels like im running 4.8 km again...hahahas...ms Lim thinks im a bit 'crazy'...thats just bcoz i shared with her some of the philosophies ive learnt and she said that she was inspired by me...what the heck...i thought it should be the other way round....lols...didnt noe i was that wise....but not fully realised what i have learnt...

if you want to noe the reason why i am so fcuked up that is bcoz...fine i have been hearing rumours abt you liking this "guy"...whom nobody refuses to tell me who....i have heard enough...my heart was thumping when i hear that rumour...fine...but then they dont want to tell me who the fcuk this motherfcuker is...u noe how frustrated i am now....talk abt heartbroken...and hurt..i really did not want to feel like last year...what if i was wrong the whole time...thought you liked me....WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!u think that i am a toy is it...you think that i can be joked around..you think i am that PATHETIC..NO IM FUCKING HELL NOT!!!....all this while...if it werent me all along...all that glances which lasted a few but really meaningfull seconds...that smile....what i typed on this motherfucking blog....AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!you know how embarrasing it is....wad if ppl make a joke out of me.....this is just FCUKED UP!!!!!i dont want it anymore...no it breaks me cant take it....being without you...fine im jealous...i just loved you so much that i feel this way....forgive me if i offended you...but..dont treat me this way....i cant take it anylonger... just hurt...just tell me everuthing la please....realli need to noe..if not it will surely break me...and national trials is comin...tokin bout o's...

and for those who noe....tell me who this motherfucker is or you'll see me in the straits times headlines....coz i am parkouring in the middle of the night without any lights...tonight....

TIRED..

had cross country yesterday...
i was so tired...my legs were hurtin...
my stomach's growling...
my eyes were heavy...
and i was pissed of....bcoz my sis was blasting techno and raggae at home....
then i was like..."aaaaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!!!SHUT THAT NOISE UP...DAMN IT"..

i really had fun yesterday...throughout hte race....kept my pace with larry...
okaylah we were helping each other...i know i cant do this alone...
thats bcoz my stamina just sucks...anyway i chiong until the finish line...
where i just dont give a damn...about anybody...fight agianst my tired legs..really pushed myself...
i dont give a damn about the timing..just found out i nearly made to top 20s....darn..hahahahas...lol...
i'm so happy when i lost....i couldnt walk at hat time...was waiting for the prize presentation...
but thanks to the bad whether...with all those lightnings...they postponed it to monday...WTH...
we didnt end the day with all our cheers....quite sian....but couldnt really bother...TIRED....

now gotta go fencing training or i will screw up even more in the U-20s team events....hahahahahahahahas......im so happy....

Alrite....had enough...

hioh yes...todae was so damn fun...alrite..parkoured in school..the school attendants had been scolding US..saying that we would end up in the hospital..lols..we all know that...its the risk i'm willing to take..anyway we all take risks and gamble on everything you have to move on with life...so wad the shit they all are all claiming that they dont gamble...i gamble last week and i lost my bet...by 6 damn points...darn...but nevertheless i'm happy..cause i found two traceurs studying in TSS..hoooo yyyeeeahhh!!!!next week everyone would see three stdents...ninja wannabes....jumping ...vaulting...climbing round the school..yes....i did found a few...calling other tracuers...do join us...i landed on my butt and my thigh hit the wooden pillar and now its still numb..ouch...so my qoute is....

"do not bite off more than you can chew....take small bites at a time.." if not you all will end up like me...alwaes gettin hurt...



alrite i had enough all all these nonsense...i didnt mean to stare at you...i've been doing my best....i noe it hurts me a lot after quite a long time..like a thousand swords piercing through my heart...i cant help myself....if youre reading this now...i really want to tell you that i really do love you..even before you actualli noe it..and let me tell you sometihng now...i would do everything for you....almost anything for you...i am ready...even if you ask me to tske my life away...i would do it...but i dont know if i can do it...i mean make you happy...i still got my commitments,passions,dreams and goals i have...dat is what i am afraid of...breaking your heart..its not me to make a girl cry...what about you?i am going to feeling really guilty for as long as i live if you shed even a single tear...and that i'm the cause of it..but seriously....i will do my best to make you feel happy...i am gonna do almost anything for you...

it is the risk i'm willing to take...

oooohhhhh yyyyyyyyeeeeeeesssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!

i am so the freakin tired.....veri sleepy...a lot of homework....then can still..blog ah..
U-20 team event on this sunday..actualli dun really give a damn about this event...bcoz..sumtime it will be my fault that the whole team lost...and sumtimes your team fencers just suck that my team will get thrashed by another opponent team..AND the worst of all...kena thrashed by a nube team...which is suckier....feels damn F***** up....but i normally laugh it off...u noe that youre good and that is the most important thing...oh yes...qoute of the day....

paisehlah...todae no jiwang-jiwanglah...too tiredlah...next timelah..

so the unlucky...lol..

fine....i lost yesterdae...U-20s...really funnylah...lol....lost to a nube...lol i think too much but i forgot being a nube...he is a brainless fencer...LOL HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!all he do is just go in for the attack...then he hit...all i did was just a simple parry...and a direct counterattack..then ONE LIGHT!!!WOOOHOOOO!!!!almost all my 9 points in i scored in the bout was one light lor....the reason why i lost is that i was really too careful...and too careless..i anticipated too much...i expected too much where my opponent attacks...although i can feel myself that i have improved a lil' bit (hehe...from "bad...to...not bad")...i am still rather panicky...so i learned one lesson when play defense...
'do not be careless....at the same time do not be too careful either..'
'you cant beg for the cake and eat it...'
todae at skool...i was feeling veri fucked up...i dun noe why...i am stuck in a dilemma...my perth trip with the skool clashes with a talk on tips for o's...then i was like "aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!DARN!!!WTF!!!a great way to start my day!!!!"that was one...secondly...my classmate was pissing me off...then i failed my class test(i am sick of losing out academically!!!)...and also... i almost hurt myself twice while parkouring this afternoon...i was lucky for that time i guess...lol...thirdly...it was her...i noe i shouldnt have done this...but i cant stop thinkin of her lately...this is totally crazy...fine...i am in love with her...but i need to focus...seriously forcing myself not thinkin bout her seriously feel really the FUCKED UP!!

i will feel that sumtinks a miss...its like a part of me is missing...i cant help myself feeling like this...let me tell you something...i cant make your face disappear in my mind...if i do its like i cant breathe...i was still overwhelmed by the gaze you gave me...i dun give a damn about wad had happened to me last year...let bygone be bygone...i really dont give a damn...
i just dont give a damn....

fight in 5 hours time...

todae is 12 feb...todae...i have to report at 1230 for Singapore Junior Fencing Championships men's sabre individual....in other words..my fight...
i've been training lately...hard...i'am really sick of losing....i wanna be in the top ten in ranking...
i've been distracted lately....by her...but not today...tihs is my test now....before NATIONAL TRIAS 2006....gotta be in the national team...and i am grab get...bcoz i know that nobody is going to give it to me...willingfully....thats just stupid...

fencing is not only a sport for me.....it's a fight which i have to defend my honour...and let ppl have a good impression of me....i never cheat...i am gonna win it....so if my opponents want to get it too....they will noe wad they have to do....and i am not afraid of losing anymore....i am a fighter no matter wad happen...i've been fighting all this while...beating my way through life....all that doubts i have.....oh just fuck it....i dont give a damn animore....all i care is my fight and that's it...
now i am feeling really pumped up....ready for anything...alll my challenges awaits me...and i am gonna beat them all...bring it on...and i will thrash you like you regret being thrashed by me...

i am ready to lose...and i am ready to win....i dun care....even if i lose...i dun want to get thrashed...it hurts me right through...

'if you wanna fence,train....if you wanna be the best,train harder....' which is wad i am doing..

for those ppl who are feeling realli fucked up: let me tell you something..dont be too hard on yourself...relax...be happy...dont necessarily listen to other ppl...not that you cant listen to them at all...all you must do is listen to your heart....bcoz it will make you do things which you think is right...nothing else matters...its your life...live it your way...and if things dont turn out the way it should be...there must be a purpose behind these events....just remember that everything has it purpose...dont think too much...sometimes it will make you really unhappy....and if youre cying over this...DON'T...bcoz it is not your fault...youre just having a hard time...alrite...

i will take my leave...signing off....

now wat...
i cant stop thinkin bout you...
dont know why...dont know how..
just lookin at you and starin at you straight into the eye..makes me feel...happy
its just like that cant explain it...but all i know...that i really do loved you..i dont even know..
how i got this feeling..it just happened..

i dont give a damn wat ppl say...
i dont give a damn wat you think bout me...
all i know youre the only one who has made my heart skipped a beat...
and i want to tell you this that i missed lookin at your eyes...even after just five minutes...
seeing you really lightens my heart..just felt happy...

i am staring in front of the screen not knowing what else i want to say...
but there is only one thing BTW...i wish we'd all say at least a 'hi' to each other and exchange smiles and start a conversation...not just that glancing at each others' eyes...yea that would be great...

now i'm dead scared...
i just witnessed the release of the 'o'-levels results...
congrats zi hao....L1R5 13 huh....now can concentrate on beating ur rivals in fencing..
witnessing them shedding tears of joy and hugging and screaming and hugging and those smiles..
really inspired me to end up like them when they take my results....those who break down really creeps me out...

hmmm....i wonder wat i will do after 'o's...
be a antional fencer...prove to people that an undredog like me can triumph...
i would go to a JC...any jc will do....but at least got reputationlah..then study a martial art..
then hopefully go serve army in NS...
after that have a qualification in philosophy and psychology....and hopefully bio-engineering...
be a god damn fighter pilot....i just loved flying...
still into fencing....this time fight for my country....and get a medal...
after that planning to teach fencing to people...and educating them that fencing is just not a sport...but an art that must be appreciated..
so far these are my goals....my plan for the future...yea..

wow....so tired..seriously didnt get enough sleep on sunday..
i think by now all my classmates would be so terrified at mrs chng...
after she screamed at Ian during lit lesson on thursday...
dang she still gives me the creeps..
after school...thinking of having a damn long nice nap when i reached home..
but wow....i ended up going to the gym with my sis and her friend..
oh yea...BTW...i met francis in the gym...then i dun give a damn about my sis and both of us workout together...carry weights and talking crap...
talking about the joseph musical our school had two years ago for the 40th anniversary...
and how those people who are involved in the musical changed after the whole thing ended...
where everyone ended up to...now..
i sounded so nostalgic..

cant help it..
i really cant help thinking about you...
cant help looking at your face..
staring at those eyes..and making my heart beat very fast..
everytime staring at those eyes...
if there is a chance of telling her how much i really loved you, i would..
but... last year's incident still gives me the creeps...
i really loved you....even when i did my best not to think about you...your image suddenly popped out in my mind..
how i wish that i can tell you how much i loved you...but i am still very much afraid..that i would
'syok sendiri' and 'terasa' and you will go dating somebody else in front of my face..
seriously it hurts so much seeing you do that..seriously..

fencing..

i seriously need more fencing training...
everybody's improving...damn i can feel the pressure...
my senior got thrashed in FSC compeitition yesterday...
my rivals are catching up on me...maybe they have even overtaken me...
i am really sick of being thrashed and beaten like shit...
i cannot imagine the humiliation anymore...
gotta beat this national fencer too...for making fun of me while fightin'
and i dun like him...
seemed to look down on underdogs...
but bai rong and jefferson are no underdogs...theyre PRO!!
that is why it gives me a greater desire to beat them...cant respect them too much..
a fighter never underestimate or overestimate his opponent...

A fighter's dream

to be the best
to attain perfection
he will never rest
till he get what he wanted..

he fights to be over the top..
defend his life..honour...pride..
failure is never his option...
and he must never waste time for any hesitaion..

one chance...that's all he's got..
only one shot...
he screw this up...
BOOM!!!!!his ass got whooped up....

persistence...
his pillar of his spirit..
when fighting for what he believes in..
is also what nobody can ever break it to bits..

his loved ones...families...even the ones he had liked...
his pillar of support..
when he is thinking about her..
sometimes it will make him stronger..

this is a fighter's life..
is something more than in the piste..the ring..the pitch..
this is a fighter's life...
everything that is happening to him...
his ups and downs..

at the end of his journey..
may be he will win...maybe not...
but i can gurantee one thing...
whatever that is happening to him..
he will NEVER back down

NEVER!!


nazri
05 february 2006
12 midnight..

Le Parkour in TSS

i seriously got nothing better to do so i started parkouring at school...
i caught some people's attention at school accidently..lucky not any of the teachers..
dang for sure i'd be in deep trouble...
wei lun and joshua look amazed to see a big guy climb the school building..
like nothing...
actualli quite sian alredy climbing the central staircase (not using the steps!!)..
too easy...now want to jump off from 2nd storey back to the first...
i still haven't meet a tracuer in my school except for me..
i still got a lot of moves to learn especially the flips and the vaults...
so calling to all more experienced tracuers from Tanglin Secondary School...
if there is any...those who want to learn...also can..
but i usually work alone..want to tag along also can...
the more the merrier...but not too many...

I LOVE BIOLOGY !!!!!!!!

yes....at last...
all my doubts had been cleared...
on biology...felt really calm now..
no distractions..at last your mind is now in peace and
is clear...all of my question has been answered...
seriously i was really confused and could not understand everything..
then suddenly it all make sense rite now...
man now i feel great..

i am most likely to be absent two weeks from now...
just got no mood...but to train a lot and parkour...and more shower singing..hahas..
anyway everybody would be like...''OH IT'S V-DAE!!!!!I GOT PREZZIES!!!LOOK WHO I'VE GOT FOR MY DATE!!!!''
then i will be like...whatever...
to me it's just the same old day....where i get nothing but BAD luck..
oh what the hell...last year was my biggest bad luck i've ever had...followed by the day after
that when everything start to fall apart...

but i picked myself up and moved on..

ham jo zorreee

todae at school was....okay..i guess..but...don't know why
i just got this damn bad feeling about something...nah..
could just be my imagination..no...but everything sure looks normal
but really something sure isn't right........

i just forget that for a moment...
i parkoured for about 15 mins at school...
at last i successfully climbed the school building..
actually i climbed the first storey to the second only...
i will wait till i get stronger and much more confident to climb till the fourth storey(hee hee)

so..today is 1st feb huh?
like 13 days to valentines...hahas
bring back old memories...everything that happened last year...
that very same day...
i think you will all know what i'm talking about..
i wonder what happened to it..
i don't give a damn what she wants to do with it but i'm just curious..

okay...
i better make an apology now or i will regret it for life..and maybe i won't be able to forgive myself...i know self respect is really important to everyone and i know that i made a lot of people lose their respect for you..and i know by now you are so fucked up with me that you want to puke at my face...by now i know you have heard all the things i said about you, but i can't help it just because i was so fucked up over what had happened that day...i think kinda the same emotion you are feeling after you heard what i bitch about you..
i'm typing this cause i want to say sorry for what i've said about you and i got the whole story wrong for one year...and somebody then tell me the truth which was just last week.. i felt really guilty for what i've done and now i don't know what to say anymore...

if you're still fucked up with it......just slap me in a face...
when you see me..

knowing that i am very pathetic