damn it..aaaarrrrrgggghhhh

aite....todae was so fcuked up..it nothing wrong with the training..except mr Wong start scolding us about the eqpiutments...i dont give a damn about that...anyway...ms Lim...the one who had trained me basic fencing when i was sec 1....came back...wwwwoooooo hhhhhhoooooo...missed her lots lah....almost two years havent come back....i feel i want to train my foil all over again...i lost control over my ponit since i was so used to sabre...training was tough....it gets tougher when mr. Wong is conducting footwork lessons....after thet it feels like im running 4.8 km again...hahahas...ms Lim thinks im a bit 'crazy'...thats just bcoz i shared with her some of the philosophies ive learnt and she said that she was inspired by me...what the heck...i thought it should be the other way round....lols...didnt noe i was that wise....but not fully realised what i have learnt...

if you want to noe the reason why i am so fcuked up that is bcoz...fine i have been hearing rumours abt you liking this "guy"...whom nobody refuses to tell me who....i have heard enough...my heart was thumping when i hear that rumour...fine...but then they dont want to tell me who the fcuk this motherfcuker is...u noe how frustrated i am now....talk abt heartbroken...and hurt..i really did not want to feel like last year...what if i was wrong the whole time...thought you liked me....WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!u think that i am a toy is it...you think that i can be joked around..you think i am that PATHETIC..NO IM FUCKING HELL NOT!!!....all this while...if it werent me all along...all that glances which lasted a few but really meaningfull seconds...that smile....what i typed on this motherfucking blog....AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!you know how embarrasing it is....wad if ppl make a joke out of me.....this is just FCUKED UP!!!!!i dont want it anymore...no it breaks me cant take it....being without you...fine im jealous...i just loved you so much that i feel this way....forgive me if i offended you...but..dont treat me this way....i cant take it anylonger... just hurt...just tell me everuthing la please....realli need to noe..if not it will surely break me...and national trials is comin...tokin bout o's...

and for those who noe....tell me who this motherfucker is or you'll see me in the straits times headlines....coz i am parkouring in the middle of the night without any lights...tonight....