Technically it took me 3 days to complete War Trash by Han Jin although I spent a week on this book, well that' because I spent the other 4 days doing something else. Overall it's a really good read, very political in fact. After reading the book, it makes me think that all these political ideas that defines the way we live are full of shit. Democracy is too biased, Communism is too practical, monarchy is hierarchical which does not make the best use of potentially capable leaders, Nationalism can be a little too barbaric and Dictatorship is too brutal and ruthless. Countries start wars because their pride and ego has been bruised, as a result both parties suffered heavy losses and many of its citizens lost their lives just because their leaders want to "save face". Those who survived the war are just mere war trash and are of no use for the country anymore. Those who were held captive got demoted and became a disgrace to the country without considering the situation and their struggle to survive for the sake of their leaders. These poor men had been convinced to fight the war for the sake of their country. Actually they've only been fighting to protect their country's belief. Take the Vietnam War for example, the intervention of the United States had resulted in thousands of casualties and several more wounded. These survivors also suffered psychological effects due to the war. And actually it turns out that technically the US wasnt even involved before the conflict even started. They just butted in because the Vietnam War involves democratic and communist ideas.

Muay thai practice turned out to be okay. I've been learning a lot lately, like what I should do when I am in a clinch (trust me I was like a dummy when coach asked us to clinch each other and start counterattacking), although we spend most of our time sharpening our techniques. We haven't been sparring for two weeks now, but I prefer it to be that way because i can't even punch and kick properly. LOL. Anyway, training has been canceled for two weeks due to exam break. I guess we can resume practice on the 6th of February. There's a Muay Thai tournament coming up on the 1st, an inter-varsity championships at SMU. One of our fighters will be competing in that event. I really have to go and watch this tournament and this will be my first time watching a real Muay Thai match. But first, I gotta mug hard for the exams.

Speaking of exams, I don't know what to do about my course. I mean I can't really get a decent pass from any of my modules, the module which I never fail to get straight As happened to be CRS and also happened to be the only module that always topped in class. Ironically this CRS is irrelevant to my course because it has got nothing to do with engineering at all. You know what, I have never been able to see myself as an engineer working at some power plant. I really didn't know what's got into me when I enrolled for this course. I thought I could pulled it off when I had trouble coping with it and I thought I really didn't have a choice. I finally realized that I had chosen the wrong subject to study. I thought about switching course, and the Diploma in Human Resources Management with Psychology has got me interested. It's a new course established in SP and it's going to start this year. There's no COP for this diploma as it is new. So I thought I stand a chance in getting that course. I really wanted to switch course and I haven't been doing well unlike my other classmates who had no problem passing the modules even when they didn't study. I only got a D when I really mug hard, and I'll get an F if I didn't study at all. So I don't really think I can fit in well in this course. Anyway I'll still spend 4 years in SP even if I didn't switch course because I know that I will have to forward module Digital Electronics as I just screwed up the lab test. Plus, there's a chance for me to fail Autocadd if I don't get full marks for the upcoming test due to my missing answer in my first Lab test. To sum it up, I've lost the motivation to study let alone doing well in this course. The only thing left is to let my parents know about my decision. I've talked to Mr. Neo and he told me what to do.

On a lighter note, mom and dad will be back tonight after their three week pilgrimage! Their arrival time will be at 2 a.m tonight. Really glad that they are coming back home but I bet that both of them have gained a lot of weight after these three weeks! lmao

I've been warned countlessly by coach (whom i still don't know what his name is. =.=") excessive force during muay that training last week. So I thought this time I'd better control my strength or I'll be in serious trouble and made a point not to go crazy during my next sparring session.

However things did not go as I planned last few days during my training. Bruce ( my coach's name, it took me 5 weeks to learn his name lmao) made us wear headgears this time. I still thought that I shouldn't hit too hard. When it was my turn, I nervously made my way into the center and then thought back what I intended to do. My head wasn't totally in the game at all. Jerome was my partner this time. Just when Bruce starts the match, Jerome came in aggressively and gave a clean hit on my chin. I was stupid enough to let my guard loose and take such a hit from hit. That was the first time I got hit in the face and that really shook me up. I couldn't think what to do next. So I charged right at him and desperately threw punches, didn't care whether I punched properly or whether my punches landed cleanly, as long as I can hit him I'll be happy enough. I didn't care whether I will get hit because I was so damn pissed that I got the first hit lmao. Coach stopped the bout and commented that I didn't use any technique, all power. But at least I fought with guts lfmao.

School life

I'm just going to make a short one before I turn in for the night. CRS presentation was a pain in the butt and I am down with a flu today. Skipped tonight's training because I felt physically exhausted, I guess it was due to my irregular sleeping time. I got to be honest with everyone when they ask about my school life. I am NOT doing okay. I've flunked my Digital Electronics paper recently and I am in deep shit if I don't do something about it.




Posted some random pics below of my life in SP


okay gotta sleep, I feel so drained...
ciao...

YA-HA!!!

photos

totally random

Gosh it certainly feels like forever since I updated. I finally realized that I have a lot to blog about my life now, since a lot of events have taken place in this chapter of my life. I have never had any passion for writing but it just gives me a peace and all my doubts and questions have been cleared. I never felt any better after writing about my anger, frustrations and whatever that had just popped up in my empty head. Despite the fact that I have experienced countless joyous moments and having a bunch of loyal friends, I am still doubtful about my purpose in life and what I am living for. It seems to me that only some of what I hold dear to me is actually real. It felt real at least. But then, I still cannot fully understand them and I am still not clear in how they are benefiting me. Could someone please enlighten me?

For those who did not know, I have taken up Muay Thai recently. My social life in campus is decaying so I thought I should do something to make new friends and expand my social circle (this is what I get for gloating about my past). I did help out in the school’s choir before but it didn’t feel real, I don’t know how to say this but I don’t feel good singing anymore. I guess I needed something more adrenalin packed, something that would really excite me and get me really addicted. Then I found Muay Thai. My feet were shaking and I clenched my fists with excitement as they demonstrated techniques used by fighters in the ring. “I want to learn that too!” I said to myself after the Muay Thai demo was over, and guess what? This was how I exactly feel before I started fencing. Lmao

All my efforts and hard work are finally showing its results. I am finally ranked 9^th in the national team! YA-HA!! I realize that the only two things which will NEVER betray you are yourself and your training. I train almost everyday now and I proclaim that I have only devoted my life on my training…and nothing else. Just kidding, but it’s true that I have spent a lot of time training and neglected my other commitments and responsibilities. Ah fuck it anyway because not only I will get to fence in the next SEA games, I WILL BRING HOME A GOLD MEDAL!!! YA-HA!!