totally random

Gosh it certainly feels like forever since I updated. I finally realized that I have a lot to blog about my life now, since a lot of events have taken place in this chapter of my life. I have never had any passion for writing but it just gives me a peace and all my doubts and questions have been cleared. I never felt any better after writing about my anger, frustrations and whatever that had just popped up in my empty head. Despite the fact that I have experienced countless joyous moments and having a bunch of loyal friends, I am still doubtful about my purpose in life and what I am living for. It seems to me that only some of what I hold dear to me is actually real. It felt real at least. But then, I still cannot fully understand them and I am still not clear in how they are benefiting me. Could someone please enlighten me?

For those who did not know, I have taken up Muay Thai recently. My social life in campus is decaying so I thought I should do something to make new friends and expand my social circle (this is what I get for gloating about my past). I did help out in the school’s choir before but it didn’t feel real, I don’t know how to say this but I don’t feel good singing anymore. I guess I needed something more adrenalin packed, something that would really excite me and get me really addicted. Then I found Muay Thai. My feet were shaking and I clenched my fists with excitement as they demonstrated techniques used by fighters in the ring. “I want to learn that too!” I said to myself after the Muay Thai demo was over, and guess what? This was how I exactly feel before I started fencing. Lmao

All my efforts and hard work are finally showing its results. I am finally ranked 9^th in the national team! YA-HA!! I realize that the only two things which will NEVER betray you are yourself and your training. I train almost everyday now and I proclaim that I have only devoted my life on my training…and nothing else. Just kidding, but it’s true that I have spent a lot of time training and neglected my other commitments and responsibilities. Ah fuck it anyway because not only I will get to fence in the next SEA games, I WILL BRING HOME A GOLD MEDAL!!! YA-HA!!