life has been really boring, actually i have nothing to talk about. Except that I'm going to the rsaf open house at marina square. I'm considering to apply for the joint poly-SAF sponsorship thingy, signing up under the air force. Hahahas, cmon I've always wanted to join the air force since I was 5, after watching the F16 in action and watchin Iron Eagle, and Independence Day. hahahahas, actually I've been wanting to fly but i dont think i can pilot the jet fighters since I'm 5cm short from the minimum height requirement (I'm 165 cm by the way)...haiz )': but it's okay i can still fly a chopper...hahas... no taining on friday (sobs)...tmrw got choir, but I'm not gonna run since I have been running every morning just to kill time but i dont seem to lose FATS!!! I'm getting bored...
so babz....FUCKING OFF!!!!!!!

boredom...

as u can see, my life has been really mundane. With nothing to do i ended up being a couch potato...hahas, just like during the holidays after prom. Fucking no life now. Going shopping tomorrow (errrr...okayla..) then maybe im free at night...watever the case is i dont give a shit....

WHEN IS TRAINING GOING TO RESUME!!!!!!!!!! GOD PLEASE SAVE ME FROM BOREDOM!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

well thanks to mirza, he really made my day by sending me a cartoon...

http://www.happeepill.com/cartoons/enjetsemut/enjet.htm

this is so funny...and hope you enjoy it and really make you day....

today was okay la...i wanted to come to school in the morning for the chinese new year celebration...yes with the boring lion dance as the first item which took like so long to end....argh!!! yer...but then i woke up at 1130....what the fuck...hahas...i guess i got too used waking up and sleeping late...hahas...i think i slept at 3 in the morning...hahas...i felt funny that night...cant describe it...hahas...

for some god-damned reason Tiger Lily-Matchbook Romance have become my lullaby before i go to sleep and the worst thing is...it is one of the songs that i hated most...and i cant even go to sleep with that song going around in my head...hahas...anyway i hate the song just because it's too sad and heartbreaking...hahas...i wasnt myself last night, as in not Babz...haiz...they said whatever doesn't kill you will only make you stronger...well i'll see how true that will be...hahas...im listening to Saw Loser now...yer their former band was Pug Jelly (for those who didnt know...if you dont even know who they are...you are a FUCKING LOSER!!!!) their geting more emo as compared to the last album...wanna know more....go buy the album...i didnt...i borrowed haifz's CD..hahas...lazy to buy...oh yeah did i write anything about fall out boy's new album...i just got my hands on one recently...their music make my blood rush everytime i listen to it...

had training tonight...as usual i was shagged....i need to think MORE while on the piste this time...damn...i tend to think of one move and stick to it when it works...joseph did the maths (woah!!!)...zi hao said,"joseph you're really mad...u can apply math in fencing...and i failed my maths"...hahas...so yeah...i need to work on my footwork too...too monotonous..hahas...maybe i can apply music to fencing like how joseph used maths for fencing...muahahahahahahahahahaha...i guess i need more time to train then...but i wonder if i can do well this year since i just switched to sabre...gotta win and gain more points for my rankings...hopefully i will be able to catch up fast since i'll be training 3 times a week as of i-don't-know-when... :( guess i gotta wait...

choir camp in a few more weeks and recital in like two months time?? haiz...sianz watever la...just waste one night and a few dollars...after that play pool again...hahahas...

cant wait for poly life...bet it's gonna be hectic...being a dog and come regularly for dog training...hahas...trying to find a band and finish up my unfininshed songs...hahas...yer...

today as usual it was fucked up...i did what i wanted today....still faliq laughed his ass off....but i dont think it worked...FUCKING FAT HOPE SIA!!!!!!!!!!!argh fuck death uh...hahas...but....haiyah....anyway im too tired to blog now...i dont think i will be coming to choir practice tomorrow because there is a LOT of things i need to forget so...yeh...im sleepy so....this is Babz...

FUCKING OFF!!!

things i never told anyone...

these are the few things that i have never told anyone...

1. i hate losing...in fact i am afraid of losing
2. i'm jealous of people around me almost all the time
3. i hate sarcasms and indirect insults
4. i hate to feel inferior
5. i never liked being labelled
6. always thought that everyone is better than me...that i suck at everything i do
7. the feeling of getting backstabbed.....most of the time
8. don't tell me how to behave and how i should present myself...i will think that whatever i do will never statisfy them
9. although i am cocky, i dont feel entirely GREAT because i am not strong
10. this passion that always kills me...watever u ppl want to define it...i just hate to fall in and out of it...
11. i wear mask all the time so that people will never get to see the real me...but i do take it off occasionally without realising it
12. they never understand
13. i am always treated as a tool for other people's benefits
14. i can be suicidal...thinking about death and people will feel when die
15. everyone is so perfect but i'm not...
16. im a useless piece of shit...
17. i dont feel appreciated for some reason...
18. watever their expectations are...

i'm really exhausted from tonight's training...hahhas...finally i got my first one-on-one training with my sabre coach (i dont know how to spell his name so to save myself from any humiliation i just dont...haiyah u noe wad i mean..hahas)..well it went well...but the fact that im fat is still there...haiz....he made me work that i could barely walk right now...lol...but im happy that i received my individual training...if not i will not be paying him and i'll just train with the national coach instead...hmm...i wonder maybe if i train hard enough and compete actively to get points for my rankings, probably i stand a chance to fence in the SEA Games...lol...muahahahaha...think too much...but seriously thanks to my foil (ahem...) background i can fence sabre well...as in timing and distance...if u peeps don't know what i'm talking about, just ignore me...as u can see im crapping tonight...again...i thought i always do..muahahahahaha...oh my goodness la...

i desperately need to improve my engrish... )': during choir today ms teo was just joking around with the choir members...then she asked,"how many chicken have you killed now?".. then i replied,"i lost MY count..." oh shit, i dont know how that 'my' just came out from my mouth but it just did...i tried to correct myself but i didnt bother...haiyah...then i pronounced Franz Ferdidnand as FRANS-FERDINAN...argggggggghhh!!!!!!!!!!! oh my goodness la...no wonder my lit got b3...my engrish just sucks...speaking of chior practice i will be singing 'ice kacang(WOOT!!)' for the choir recital...yer perth song...hahas i promoted that song at perth...hahas...missed that place...and practice starts on thursday...maybe i will be coming...maybe not...but oh what the hell just come for the sake of it...today's choir practice was okay...it's choir-like...hahas...nothing much...yer...

TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!or today...OH MY GOODNESS LAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i'll just be hanging out with faliq and harshan...normal routine...play pool and uh go milf-hunting...maybe...hahhas....then EMO!!!!hahahas.....im gonna do something stupid...again....but i doubt it's gonna work...like fat hope sia....haiz...but try la...my boi carez are gonna be laughing their ass off!!!!hahahas...

ok... i haven't posted anything abt my Os results experience or any shit like that ....and i dont want to bcoz it's too embarrassing...hahas...shall not say...

as for my results...I MADE IT TO SOMEWHERE BESIDES ITE!!!!!!!!WOOOT!!!!HAHAHAHAS!!!

overall i screwed up my paper a little bit...but i improved a lot...by THREE GRADES!!!! WWOOOT!!!! okay im getting insane...hahas....


my L1R5=22
my L1R4-16

for fuck i know that i screwed it up okay...i was hoping for some As but umm....hahahas...it's okay....hahas....at least i am qualified almost all the courses in the poly ard singapore.....except for aeronautical engineering...sobs..i missed the minimum requirement by a grade...and mass comm...same story...
i am considering music and audio technology (woah!!!!) hahaas...but im afraid to be a washed up singer songwriter/composer...oh well...im just gonna risk it then...anyway no more repeats of last year man...fucking slackery..hahas...gotta work hard to get to a decent University now...hahas....hopefully overseas...im sick of Singapore's tight system bullshit that restricts my freedom of expression and speech...im trying to act pro in the middle of the night now so i dont give a shit...i decided not to take the JPSAE scheme...wait...i dont think i am eligible for it....OH MY GOODNESS LA!!!! hahas...and i am not fencing for any tertiary institution i will be studying later...

i am going to improve my engrish this time....my vocab power just sucks la...i would'nt be able to write songs if my ENGISH SUCKS!!!!!!! i got a f***ing B4 for english....i was expecting better....damn i really screwd up my Os....nevermind i will retake my Os after diploma...only english, litreature and one other subject i cannot be bothered to think of right now...

list of courses i wish to take:

from SP

1. aerospace electronics
2. mecahnical engineering
3. music and audip technology
4. infocomm secuirity management
5. mechatronics
6. optometry

from NP

1. aerospace electronics
2. aerospace technology
3. EARLY CHILHOOD!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAS!!!!!!!
4. NURSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAS!!!!!!!!
5. psychological and community services....oh my goodness la!!!!!

from RP

1. mechatronics (aerospace avionics)

of all courses...NURSING!!!!!!! hahahahas...i will never imagine myself as a nurse and wearing a uniform to school....hahahas...i cant even tolerate my grandma's whinings...hahahas...anyway...watever happened...it's for a reason and just make the best use out of it...so yeah,,,

WOOT!!!!!!!!!!! hahas

it's official.....i get invited in!!!!!! WOOT!!!!! hahahahas....FS invited me into the junior squad....damn im in the nationals...hahahas...yer...4 times a week 3 hrs a day....bring it man...so long i get the prestige....hahahas...

5 days before Os results will be released....gosh im dead scared....oh my goodness la....hahas...seriously...haiz....

choir recital gonna start on 1st week of april...haiz...then choir camp in a few weeks time...watever la sia...hahaas..

ive never felt so stupid...pathetic and so sucky before!!!! damn im suck like a bitch now...