Hmm… let’s see. I don’t know how to begin. Anyway I’ll blog about Sunday. Had National Individual Championships in the morning and reported 1minute and 48 seconds late which was at way better than Cadet Champs. Since my event started in 5 minutes time I had no time to warm up or make any mental preparation and I reported to my assigned piste with an empty stomach and sleepy eyes ( my event started at 9). Understandably I was totally not on form. I had 2 win and 2 losses, my prelim score was not to my personal expectation. I made it to the next round but my hopes of getting a bye was dashed based on my previous bouts. Suddenly I had this short, sharp pain in my knee joint I could hardly stand. Well it must be because I skipped warm up and I had competed 4 days straight last week. My next bout was against Jefferson and I got thrashed 15-5. my mind and heart was not in the game, and I guess everybody noticed it including judging from the way I fenced. Joseph lost to Choon Wing 15-13 (or 15-14) due to the fact that he got tensed and a little stiff because he thinks too much. Coach was screaming, telling him to calm down but his efforts were futile. Bryce didn’t make it to the second round, just lack of experience after years of not competing. Zi Hao lost to David Chen 15-14. it was a good bout though. After the competition I had lunch with Bryce, Jefferson and Zi Hao.

After everything I rushed down to IMM for TEENAGE ICON 2007!!! I was incredibly late because I had to report to IMM at 1, but I came at 0130. Got a little lost so I called Doreen for help. We met at the McDonalds and the other 21 contestants. I had my touch up and then briefing by Mahfouz. Told us about the mistakes the contestants from the previous heats made and then he gave us some tips on how to overcome stupid tech errors. Everyone quickly got acquainted with each other and thankfully we got along really well. Doreen made us sing our songs that we chose before the actual thing begins. I spotted some good singers among the 23 of us; some of them were just about average.

Unfortunately I didn’t make it to the semi finals. I was a little disappointed because there were stupid mistakes that I know I shouldn’t have made and you know how much I hate losing in any way and got sick of it. I FORGOT MY LYRICS HALFWAY IN THE BEGINNING OF THE SECOND VERSE!!!! FUCK!! Although actually it was only a line and almost everybody did not notice it, except for those who know ‘Kissed from A Rose’ by seal. Another reason why I lost was that I know that nobody voted for me, so I lost 35% of my overall marks. I just can’t depend on the other 65% which was the judges’ score although my performance was okay (honestly I really think I screwed up big time). Well I won’t get a total 65/65 because I think I really lost marks in terms of my image and originality (I guess they thought that I am a ‘Twohill poser’) so for me the votes also play a big role in my score. Anyway I felt that the voting was not just because you got to buy a shampoo product from ‘Follow Me’ or ‘Silkpro’ to vote. Who would actually spend big bucks on some meaningless shampoo product to vote on my singing? Anyway none of my friends watched me sing other than Bryce and Ann but they left soon after they found out that Ellyn sprained her ankle. What Bryce said to me about my performance was certainly very encouraging. Note the sarcasm. I guess this competition actually isn’t about searching for local talent but more of an opportunity of promoting shampoos and soaps and lotion and whatever everybody had in their bathroom.
Anyway I told myself that Teen Icon will be my first and last performance/competition/whatever, because I know that I will never make it big in Singapore. Like HELLO, this is Singapore where they prefer foreign talents than appreciating what locals really have which is as good and authentic as those foreign suckers whom the adore so much that they will spend big bucks on them. Good things only happen to some people, that how life really goes no matter how hard you tried or how much you REALLY want it. I do understand that it does not happen, maybe it will never happen. Well I know that I’m not good enough, so that’s why I decided to quit singing because I guess it will never happen to me. HAHAHA!!! if not I will never want to waste my time on my secondary school fantasy of being someone big through music.



Will upload the pics later...