yesterday was fucked up. hahas. it's obvious that i lost yesterday's national trails, at the quaterfinal round. hahas. i fucked up a lot yesterday because i know i could have done better and coach was like ,"what ARE YOU DOING?!?!why no ambition to win? where's your mentality to fence?? why intimidated?". then i was like oh shit. hahas. anyway i was a little panicky becuase everybody changed their sytle of fencing now. hahas. i was completely stunned during the competition, maybe thats why i lost. anyway, i am not worried about anything since this is just my first competition i took part this year, there's still a lot harder once like Selagor Open, and FSI (shitshitshit)....so yea im going to train harder from today onwards, well at least after my choir recital which is on THE LAST WEEK OF MAY!!!!! cb.

my dad just bought a new PC, so there's no need for me to go online late at night, and im getting my laptop soon by this friday. WOOOOHHHOOO!!!! hahahas.

i'm listeining to Winds of Change by Scorpions. some hard rock band. i find this song inspirational. this song also reflects the events that happened during the cold war in eastern europe in the early 1990s. the fall of communism which led to the berlin wall. ever since stalin died, communism was in a mess. actually i hated cold war becuase it's just too boring. it's not literally a war, just some cold relationship between USSR (russia) and USA. all they did was just taking their military power to the next level and scare each other's pants off. USSR and USA happened to be the two most powerful countries during that era. USA have MTV and hollywood while USSR have muscle-bound she-male female olympians and Stalin. I dont know much about USSR but i know hollywood has played a major role in spreading propaganda to promote democracy(or the all american culture, or even USA itself??). since tv is an important source of brainwashing couch potatoes, they might as well make the full use out of it. in the 4th rocky movie, rocky balboa thrashed the russian boxer and he trained by using some ancient stuff in a barn deep in the mountains while that russian trained by using all those high tech stuff and gizmos in a gym. then this underdog thrashed the russian, reapresnting the all american dream. doesnt this show that americans are the good guys and they are heroes and all other bullshits. people will think that USA is a powerful country to have such 'heroes' in their country. in my opinion, not that i am referring to al the americans out there but their american politics are just bullshit and full of crap. im not going to post it here because im just plain lazy. if u want to know just ask me...lol