blah blah blah!!!! WOOT!!!

2008-09-30T10:53:00.001+08:00

my sis is the most pathetic living creature i've ever seen

2008-09-26T15:04:00.002+08:00

after my long absence in this pathetic space im just gonna post a few sentences in this post. im broke, worn out, and feeling lazy right now. and school's starting in 2 weeks time...GREAT

2008-08-14T22:29:00.001+08:00

i guess im so evil i like to see people who are better at some things than me crash and burn...

if you see the world through my eyes, then you would'nt feel so high rise...

2008-07-28T08:15:00.001+08:00

OMFG I ATE A LOT YESTERDAY! MY APPETITE HAS SUDDENLY GOTTEN SOOO RIDICULOUSLY LARGE ON SUNDAY!!!!!

am i suppose to be happy...with i ever wanted, it comes with a price

2008-07-26T00:18:00.003+08:00

I decided to skip muay thai training just to purchase a small bottle of grease at some hardware shop over at boon lay shopping centre.

The weather has been really cold lately and it's getting harder for me to wake up early for school. Wish this weather will stay on like forever! LMAO

Fencing was okay i guess. Fooled around with bryce during sparring. I'm pretty much feeling tired right now...

I must make a point to study too...need a lot to catch up with so little time...

wake up early tmrw morning

oh and i'm chatting with iris now to...HAHAHA!!

Fall For You

2008-07-22T13:18:00.001+08:00

Sorry can't upload the FSI pictures now as I don't have them uploaded into my laptop. Currently in school now waiting for RWP to start.

Had BJJ training last night and Shawn announced that there will be competition at the end of august. The catch is that the competition entry fee costs $60!! 0.o Well I hope that the club is able to at least subsidize the fees so as to make it more affordable for penniless guys like me to compete. haha. My hands and neck are still sore from last night's training and i gotta make sure that i attend fencing practice tonight. To top it off, mid session exams are just around the corner... man i really am looking forward to the holidays right now. haha

I suddenly had this deep shitty feeling last night after training, the same shitty feeling I usually get before my birthday. HAHA talking about random!

Okay gtg now. lecture's starting...

The best damn thing that could possibly happen...happened :)

2008-07-20T02:13:00.002+08:00

I want to take back what I said about competing in FSI and wanting to get it done and over with. Seriously I regretted saying that. The whole week of competitions has been a blast. It really made me remember why I want to fence in the first place. I totally forgot how fun can fencing really be when you start to stand yourself against people from other countries, and you get that statisfaction of fencing a good bout even though you get trashed and owned by them. Plus event like these gives you a chance to meet and make new friends and also bring everyone closer together.

The national sabre team which consists of Ernest, Mark, Matt and I almost won the Qatar team in the semi finals. Guess who's their coach? It's mihai's coach himself!! Our grandmaster neuka coaching the qatar team haha, anyway it was kind of like a reunion between both coach and Neuka and he knows us too.

I think I forgot to mention that the Koreans are as crazy as how they fence. They were like damn hyper during the BBQ and it was really noisy with them around. Oh and I really love how they grill the food that night. They just pour everything over the grill and then spread them evenly.

At the last day of competition, everyone camwhored as the prize giving presentation commences and we had lots of fun taking pictures too. I took loads of pics. Have uploaded most of them on facebook. Will upload them here later in the morning. So for now I'm gonna go to bed...

NITES!!

Drift

2008-07-08T08:55:00.002+08:00

BJJ last night was great. Well, the club has already switched gyms so I guess we are no longer affiliated to Alive Academy anymore. Somewhat feel kinda bad to put Ben out of business lol. Anyway the club that we switched to is BUDO. Training has become more intense from now on. I even find myself panting after the warm down exercises, but I still find MT training the toughest. Oh and I sparred with the club's new instructor last night and I got pawned!! haha. I couldn't even count the number of times he made me tap out with all my fingers and toes! And the longest I can hold on before losing to him in submission was about 5 sec?!? Totally kena pwned...

Bruce gave us a 'welcome back from MST week' training. It's pretty much obvious that we were totally out of shape upon coming back from our mugging period. IVP is probably gonna happen this year but i really hope it's really going to happen...

FSI on thursday... =.='

Swing of Lie

2008-06-30T23:24:00.002+08:00

I don't know what is it about you people. Don't speak as if you understand me. Don't make assumptions as though you know I'm thinking. And don't even dare to tell me what to do with my life and thinking you are absolutely sure that you're right. You can just shut the fuck up and shove all of your fake advices up into your dirty ass. Thinking that you are so righteous even disgust me in the first place. The last thing I need now is a bunch of hypocrites telling me what to do. Y'all don't own me....

Now it's all said and done, I shall now continue with this yet another uber random posts....

So, MST week just past and lessons quickly resumed on the first day of the second week of school. Well it's a good thing I had a two-day short break over the weekends. The moment I stepped into the DCS lab this morning, my practical lecturer quickly handed me my question paper regarding the PBIL for this module. And its freaking due by next week. I mean in one week I have to design a flowchart which took me two hours to even start with the first few parts of the operation, compile a report and test whatever I had planned next Monday. Plus I still have a DE assignment to complete and a RWP middle section and content page draft due by tomorrow. Well I guess this week's gonna be another busy and hectic week.

There's flybar album launch this friday at the esplanade recital studio. My presence there will depend on whether Jonathan wants to go with me. Anyway I don't like attending gigs alone...

FSI is just around the corner so I really hope I get to get it done and over with ASAP...
You know I don't really feel happy when I fence. Its not the same feeling I had in the past. And I kinda feel that everybody is expecting a lot from me but I don't want to be competitive this year I hopefully the next because if I don't set my mind on getting extremely good grades I can kiss my uni education goodbye and fix electric cables for a living. Besides, I'm not a professional fencer, there's no need for me to fence so hard and try to win every competition. And it's not like I will get sponsored by some random rich guy anytime soon. I'm not rich either (maybe just a little bit...)

As for BJJ, i guess training will properly resume on the third week of school and I still got a lot of weight to shed...

I'm Lucky To Be in Love With My Best Friend...

2008-06-22T05:01:00.003+08:00

I'm not feeling shitty right now and I have absolutely no intention of starting an emo post...

but I've been wondering, whether people can see me through very easily despite my countless effort of trying to stay strong and putting up a smiling face and feeling guarded at the same time, so that my very weakness will not be revealed for everyone to see because I think its too embarrassing...

hmm....

YUI AISHITERU!!!!

2008-05-25T12:42:00.002+08:00

I think I have a crush on YUI. LOL

These past 2-3 weeks have been hectic. I'm starting to reach home late at night due to club activities at school. I don't really think that I mention here that I've taken up another martial art in school. So now I have Fencing, Muay Thai and Brazillian Jiu Jitsu but I've made a point to focus more and do well in school now because I realised that I can't do well in everything I want to do in a year. BJJ is great. Ben is such a good and very friendly instructor and he is humble too. Unlike me, who chooses to be more liberal in his way of thinking and personality, well actually I am not the modest type. I flaunt what I have and I will always want to learn new things. People might find me cocky but I admit that I am not great myself because of the unstatisfaction that still lingers in my thoughts.

So up until now school life have been really exhausting. Waking up early for school then club activities in the evening and trainings at night, not to forget a few hours spent on revisions, I haven't had any proper rest except for Sundays. Thank god the term break is just around the corner but there's MST right after that. ARGH!!! So stressed. Well at least I have something to live for. lol

Currently plugging into CHERRY by YUI.

2008-05-04T11:07:00.003+08:00

I am not going to apologise or make any stupid excuses on why I have not been posting for a week. It's my blog so I will do what I want and post whenever I want. Besides I don't think everyone would take their time reading this site which is full of rantings and whinings and all sorts of nonsensical posts.

These past few days has been, eventful. A lot of things had happened for the past 7 days. So this week has been quite fun.

Have you ever had this deep and sinking feeling? It's like it will happen to you out of the blue but you can never make any sense out of it. But when the feeling comes to you, making up whether it is a good thing or bad seemed totally impossible because you'll tend to confuse everything together. So portentous this feeling it may seem but you just won't know when it will happen to you. After that, you will try your best to get rid of it any means possible not knowing that it will come back to you when you least know it. You know what? I will always have this feeling when I turn a year older or days before my birthday and then everything weird will happen to me a few days after my birthday. Maybe I'm thinking too much but uh...who knows??

On a lighter note, SP muay thai received more than 400 names during the cca showcase. That is like larger than a diploma intake? I really wonder how the comms are going to overcome the number problems. Sekali the trials will be as intense as the Deimon High School Football Team tryouts (with spencer as Hiruma lol). That will be really fun to watch. So I'm really looking foward to that.

1st may was fun.

Yeah i think thats all abt it...

2008-04-21T12:23:00.004+08:00

it's lunch time in school now. I don't like bringing my laptop to school. The reason is that it is bulky and heavy. Plus I don't really need to use the lappy during most of my classes. actually i thought that i'll have something to ramble about because a lot of things have gone my mind but when once i have logged in, i found out that i don't really have anything to post or at least i don't know how to start.

i really wonder why locals don't appreciate their own country's artistic and music talents. I mean every time i talk about the local music scene with my friends, their usual response will be, " ah? local music uh? wah lau they suck ass la! cannot even compare with other music! look at singapore idol la. wah lau that twohill think he sing damn good but actually he look like one zombie one!!".
it's pretty sad that they are not exposed to the real music scene in singapore. There even some locals who made it internationally and had tours and stuff yet none of them are acknowledged by their own people. it's really a pity when they aren't even proud of these small bunch of people who really love what they are doing. Why can't they brag about our music scene when they can be so arrogant overseas, showing the foreigners off saying that they have the best airport, the best train and bus system, singapore is very clean and very safe thanks to the country's tight security system( well i think now they are gonna stop bragging about that...haha).

on a lighter note, lollipop is just around the corner. will be going with see toh and supposedly his classmates. apparently none of my classmates were interested. only a handful of them were interested but they arent sure whether they will really be going this friday night. so uh it was a bummer...

School starts

2008-04-18T01:22:00.002+08:00

I haven't really got time or the energy to post anything up. I must say that waking up at 6 every morning and trying to stay awake throughout the whole day while trying to pay attention during lectures has been a challenge. Others might find this a routine but I'm just trying to get use to waking up in the morning since I usually sleep in the morning and will wake up late the afternoon during the holidays.

School was boring as usual, but I seemed to be happy to be in school. I don't know why but I'm just glad. The tables and chairs (actually they are the table and chair combined) in the lecture hall aren't comfortable enough for me to catch a nap for the entire lecture. The lecturers uses microphones while they speak so that the last benchers are able to hear them when they're teaching, but the speakers are so loud that it's hard for me to doze off. So I don't think that I will be able to sleep now during lectures.

Tutorials are okay I guess. Not much different from last year. Same goes for practical classes.

From now onwards muay thai trainings will held in school every Saturday. This sucks because training won't be at fight g anymore. I've spent most of my holidays at fight g training and i love hanging out there after training. i'm pretty much going to miss fight g now.

Oh yeah, forgot to mention that channel 5 just broadcast the contender asia on tv. theyre like so late la. I'm almost done watching the show on AXN. Too bad for those who don't have cable subscriptions there are going to be a lot of spoilers around them haha.

Dream

2008-04-12T01:52:00.003+08:00

okay i had this weird dream last night. Why must the timing be so goddamn 'perfect' that i have to dream about her, when i have pretty much moved on and am stronger now. I mean like goshh... this shit happened ages ago and i pretty much didn't give a damn about it.

but the thing is even though i was aware that this was all a dream,not knowing the reason why, suddenly it felt so real. as in real...

but thanks to that i felt confused and definitely emo when i woke up this afternoon....gosh -.-

maybe i write/type/post what happened in that dream later on but trust me it will sound stupid.

2008-04-10T18:14:00.003+08:00

I was just going through my previous posts especially the entries I wrote back in year 2006. All I can say now looking back to how I was then really amuses me. I was so naive and stupid and gosh I can't believe that I would really post such entries.

Other than that, I just spend the day sitting on my couch randomly surfing the net and listening and orgainising my music folder in my lappy as I just downloaded Kishidan's compilation album.

School's just around the corner and I haven't buy my staionaries and notebooks. Oh well I can just do that during the first day when school starts

Birthday Wishlist

2008-04-09T02:12:00.017+08:00

Well, it's 9th April today. That means there's 3 more weeks before I turn 18? omigosh I haven't realised that I have grown so old. LMAO

Since i've never make my own birthday wishlist before, this is gonna be my first...

an acoustic guitar

Heavy bag, aprox 150 cm?
LEON PAUL sabre gloves

Hi-tech blades. gosh this shoe is like really durable la. I used this pair before and it lasted me 2 - 3 yrs. note that i was a competitive fencer then, only a little bit more competitive than now.
FIE breeches
FIE fencing jacket
FIE plastron
Leon paul FIE sabre mask....
new pair of handwraps
I really dig this muay thai shorts!!

muay thai gloves, i mean THIS muay thai gloves, 12 oz

so yea thats pretty much what i want. I still havent included YUI's new album and a couple of books that i wanna read. oh yea and a lot of DVDs too...

and a chance to meet YUI real life will be like a dream come true....lmao

2008-04-09T01:36:00.006+08:00

Wow....
I never expected you to be like that. After all we've been through, all the fuck ups and tears that we shared, you are willing to let it all end like this? How could you be so self-centered and ignorant. To be honest I never expect that from you, or at least I refused to. I was willing to share my world with you, going higher than the mountains and deeper than the ocean. I thought that you would understand. I thought if I were to unmask myself and really reveal my true side to you, you would know what I have to go through. I kept myself guarded all these times because I totally refused to trust anyone, I don't ever want to be stupid enough to keep making the same mistakes over and over. Well now it seems that I will never learn even if I wanted to. I kept wondering and asking god why am I so gullible and everything that I do doesn't seem to work. Tell where did I go wrong. Why me? I thought we really had this connection and this "unspoken bond". What must I do to make it up to you? I'd do anything to make you forgive me. I may have been an asshole all this time but thats because I have an ego. I've never felt so miserable in my life. I guess this is my first. Please I beg you just don't leave me, I don't want to feel lonely anymore. I've loved you with all my heart. You know, watching you walking through that door one last time feels as if a part of me is missing. That other half of what makes me slowly rotting, dissipating deep into the depths of winter where the powdered snow carefully covers my heart and slowly ripping me away its warmth and love you once showered me with. My heart feels so empty without you around. Everything seems to have lost its meaning, colors started to fade, food has lost its taste and everything that matters, well does not seem to matter anymore. Well I don't know what has become of me now. The future sure is uncertain and I cannot really say that I will get through to the end but I really hope that by any chance our paths may intertwine again, till then I promise that I will always be waiting. Till then..........

PS: This story is fictional. Any resemblance with real life experiences or characters is purely coincidental. =P

LaterZ

2008-04-07T12:33:00.002+08:00

Just woke up at 12 today. So pretty much nothing unusual or anything worth posting happened yet. Planning to prepare for school today, do a little bit of revising and stuff because I have forgotten almost everything that I learnt last year and when I browsed through my this sem's lecture notes, I couldn't make sense out of any of it so yeah...

There's muay thai training today but I decided not to go.

I really hope that school's gonna be different this year.

2008-04-03T21:13:00.005+08:00

Downloaded and watched Never Back Down the other day. The movie's alright for me, very action-packed. The fighting style for both the protagonist and the antagonist is MMA. Superb fight sequence. Unfortunately it didn't make up with the plot of the movie with was cheesy and totally obvious. Nevertheless, it's a good movie to watch for those action junkie and anybody who's interested in MMA because I feel they do choreograph nice combos.

Here's the link to the trailer

Never Back Down

2008-03-31T21:25:00.002+08:00

I can't say that so many things had happened for the past three days. It was more like err, a lot has happened lately. So the whole family spent their Saturday at Malacca and then came back to Singapore the next day for national trials. Lost at the quarter finals 15-12 to bai rong. I dont give a damn about it anymore so yeah...

Quite surprised that almost half of the team failed the grading test. Well I guess it's a good thing that I didn't sign up for it earlier or I could've failed as well. The grading test is to be held every 3 months so why rush?

idiotic and dumb

2008-03-27T06:25:00.003+08:00

Well it's 6 am right now and I'm still not ready to go to bed. Yesterday's training was super slack. I didn't even feel tired. The reason is that most of us DID have fun playing with the Japanese ppl (girls) this morning after the exchange demo. And I was surprised that the grading will be way easier than I thought it would be. I was thinking more of like a 15 minute pad work and then some endurance test. Lmao... Oh well. I guess things never really go as planned, but it still gets the job done.

Initially I was totally uninspired to blog so when I asked joel and jonathan what I should blog about they suggested that I should blog about how nice jonathan is and how emo joel felt last night. =_="

So here goes.....
JONATHAN IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NICE!!!!! I MEAN HE'S VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY NICE. NOBODY CAN COMPARE HIS KINDNESS WITH EVERYONE BECAUSE HE IS UBER NICE!!!

JOEL WAS SUPER EMO LAST NIGHT FOR NO APPARENT REASON ...the same goes to spencer and jerome...maybe he can't decide which girl should he date...then he got so stressed up that he wanted to mutilate himself and write depressing poems...FUCKING CASANOVA...

HAHAHAHA!!! of course that was just a joke so pls dont be so touchy over it...
you know babz will always LOVE both of you *hugs*...HAHAHA!!!

lethargy

2008-03-25T23:55:00.003+08:00

Had training just now. I was doing my 4 km roadwork this time. Little did I know coach made me work during training till I was half dead and I can still feel the lactic acid burning in my limbs. Okay I'm too tired now.

ciao

2008-03-25T16:37:00.008+08:00

Okay I'm heading for fencing later in about an hour's time? The whole family went to town last weekend. Had dinner at this nasi padang restaurant which sells nothing but nasi padang. after dinner had to stop by the nearest mosque for evening prayers. After that we head down to Heeren HMV to get some DVDs. My sis wanted to get some 80s musicals whereas the old Bruce Lee classics came across my mind. Got some of the DVDs we desired and then we went straight home. The costs of the DVDs were surprisingly inexpensive, I thought that the limited edition one which we bought could've cost more. After that we walked around town and my bro, sis and I had this azabu sabo ice cream. I got the durian and strawberry flavor while my sis and bro bought the SEA SALT WITH CARAMEL and 'cookies n cream' flavor. It turns out that the sea salt with caramel has become my favorite flavor! I mean it's not really salty and it's not too sweet at the same time. I seems like a weird combo but they blend perfectly, and the ice cream isn't heavy unlike most ice creams I had, it's very light and best eaten during hot days. Of course I don't recommend this flavor for those who is diagnosed with hypertension =P

On a lighter note, I bought YUI latest album while we were at HMV last weekend!! It's called Namidairo!! I just sooooooo love her!! HAHAHA!!!! WOOT!!

Muay Thai Demo

2008-03-20T15:16:00.019+08:00

end of the day
pad work demo
me and sherlim
pad work
sherlim likes to camwhore
zen teaching
spencer in the middle
i love making faces
kids fooling around LOL
joel again
joel's candid face
then he when back to his favorite bench and stone
Coach gave the freshies some briefing
it just started
briefing right before the demo starts. obviously it seems like im not paying attention to jon, but i sure am enthusiatic.HAHA
Coach stoning

Oblivion

2008-03-20T14:03:00.002+08:00

I just woke up and I have got nothing to write about today, so I shall post about what I did yesterday!

I woke up pretty early yesterday at about 8.30 am. Went to the market to buy breakfast and began to revise my year one's school work whilst having my breakfast the minute I reached home. Studied up till about one. After that I took a shower and got ready for Muay Thai training.

Today's training program is slightly harder than what we usually get to do during our training. I think it's just getting more intense since our first grading is just around the corner. Speaking of grading, I don't think I really want to go for the grading thing. First reason is because I don't think that I have done enough homework(training). Secondly I can't really afford the grading fees as I my budget is kinda tight now plus I got to save up for Muay Thai shorts and a pair of boxing gloves. Finally, I'm afraid that the timing may clash with my fencing competition. I don't know whether I will be graded in the morning or not and I assume that my event will start late in the afternoon so I don't really feel like I want to be graded yet.

Anyway after training I hung out at the gym for a while to watch the other fighters rehearse for another demo on wednesday morning. Discussed with Jonathan about our school system and what may happen to me when school starts. As all of you might not have know, my appeal for a transfer was rejected because of the COP and I need to repeat Digital Electronics (which is the reason why I've started revising my school work). I'm pretty worried actually because I really don't know what will happen to me but at least I'm still allowed to continue studying this course. PHEW!

Went home and watched the contender asia. I feel that the match between Yukay and Sean was good. Sean's wai khru was pretty funny when he did the street fighter 'hadou-ken' action thing.

The whole family went out for dinner. We dined at Alif's and had roti prata that night. I ordered a cup of ginger tea, a can of soda, one plain prata, one egg prata and one egg onion prata. Gosh last afternoon's training all went to waste, but I could really care less. ahaha

That's pretty much what happened yesterday. Gonna post some pictures taken during muay thai demo and a muay thai competition at youth park two weeks ago...

ciao...

void

2008-03-06T21:26:00.003+08:00

I intended to leave this blog dead, because I thought that there isn't any point for me to write anything that has got nothing to do with what I do on a daily basis, just basically anything I wished to rant about so that I know at least that I am able to express myself without being concerned about what other people might think of me. Even if people might think that whatever I write is totally idiotic or ignorant. Besides, I bet nobody really visits my blog now that I don't update it regularly and it's filled with boring posts. Lmao.

I wonder why I always set my font size to small. It's damn fucking hard to read my posts as I need to strain my eyes to read every word that exist in this little space. Plus, my posts are all long winded!

...

Got Muay Thai training later in about an hour and a half? And I'm not even ready yet. So yeah...

ciao

2007-12-26T02:32:00.001+08:00

Technically it took me 3 days to complete War Trash by Han Jin although I spent a week on this book, well that' because I spent the other 4 days doing something else. Overall it's a really good read, very political in fact. After reading the book, it makes me think that all these political ideas that defines the way we live are full of shit. Democracy is too biased, Communism is too practical, monarchy is hierarchical which does not make the best use of potentially capable leaders, Nationalism can be a little too barbaric and Dictatorship is too brutal and ruthless. Countries start wars because their pride and ego has been bruised, as a result both parties suffered heavy losses and many of its citizens lost their lives just because their leaders want to "save face". Those who survived the war are just mere war trash and are of no use for the country anymore. Those who were held captive got demoted and became a disgrace to the country without considering the situation and their struggle to survive for the sake of their leaders. These poor men had been convinced to fight the war for the sake of their country. Actually they've only been fighting to protect their country's belief. Take the Vietnam War for example, the intervention of the United States had resulted in thousands of casualties and several more wounded. These survivors also suffered psychological effects due to the war. And actually it turns out that technically the US wasnt even involved before the conflict even started. They just butted in because the Vietnam War involves democratic and communist ideas.

Muay thai practice turned out to be okay. I've been learning a lot lately, like what I should do when I am in a clinch (trust me I was like a dummy when coach asked us to clinch each other and start counterattacking), although we spend most of our time sharpening our techniques. We haven't been sparring for two weeks now, but I prefer it to be that way because i can't even punch and kick properly. LOL. Anyway, training has been canceled for two weeks due to exam break. I guess we can resume practice on the 6th of February. There's a Muay Thai tournament coming up on the 1st, an inter-varsity championships at SMU. One of our fighters will be competing in that event. I really have to go and watch this tournament and this will be my first time watching a real Muay Thai match. But first, I gotta mug hard for the exams.

Speaking of exams, I don't know what to do about my course. I mean I can't really get a decent pass from any of my modules, the module which I never fail to get straight As happened to be CRS and also happened to be the only module that always topped in class. Ironically this CRS is irrelevant to my course because it has got nothing to do with engineering at all. You know what, I have never been able to see myself as an engineer working at some power plant. I really didn't know what's got into me when I enrolled for this course. I thought I could pulled it off when I had trouble coping with it and I thought I really didn't have a choice. I finally realized that I had chosen the wrong subject to study. I thought about switching course, and the Diploma in Human Resources Management with Psychology has got me interested. It's a new course established in SP and it's going to start this year. There's no COP for this diploma as it is new. So I thought I stand a chance in getting that course. I really wanted to switch course and I haven't been doing well unlike my other classmates who had no problem passing the modules even when they didn't study. I only got a D when I really mug hard, and I'll get an F if I didn't study at all. So I don't really think I can fit in well in this course. Anyway I'll still spend 4 years in SP even if I didn't switch course because I know that I will have to forward module Digital Electronics as I just screwed up the lab test. Plus, there's a chance for me to fail Autocadd if I don't get full marks for the upcoming test due to my missing answer in my first Lab test. To sum it up, I've lost the motivation to study let alone doing well in this course. The only thing left is to let my parents know about my decision. I've talked to Mr. Neo and he told me what to do.

On a lighter note, mom and dad will be back tonight after their three week pilgrimage! Their arrival time will be at 2 a.m tonight. Really glad that they are coming back home but I bet that both of them have gained a lot of weight after these three weeks! lmao

2007-12-10T15:20:00.000+08:00

I've been warned countlessly by coach (whom i still don't know what his name is. =.=") excessive force during muay that training last week. So I thought this time I'd better control my strength or I'll be in serious trouble and made a point not to go crazy during my next sparring session.

However things did not go as I planned last few days during my training. Bruce ( my coach's name, it took me 5 weeks to learn his name lmao) made us wear headgears this time. I still thought that I shouldn't hit too hard. When it was my turn, I nervously made my way into the center and then thought back what I intended to do. My head wasn't totally in the game at all. Jerome was my partner this time. Just when Bruce starts the match, Jerome came in aggressively and gave a clean hit on my chin. I was stupid enough to let my guard loose and take such a hit from hit. That was the first time I got hit in the face and that really shook me up. I couldn't think what to do next. So I charged right at him and desperately threw punches, didn't care whether I punched properly or whether my punches landed cleanly, as long as I can hit him I'll be happy enough. I didn't care whether I will get hit because I was so damn pissed that I got the first hit lmao. Coach stopped the bout and commented that I didn't use any technique, all power. But at least I fought with guts lfmao.

School life

2007-12-04T22:18:00.000+08:00

I'm just going to make a short one before I turn in for the night. CRS presentation was a pain in the butt and I am down with a flu today. Skipped tonight's training because I felt physically exhausted, I guess it was due to my irregular sleeping time. I got to be honest with everyone when they ask about my school life. I am NOT doing okay. I've flunked my Digital Electronics paper recently and I am in deep shit if I don't do something about it.

Posted some random pics below of my life in SP

okay gotta sleep, I feel so drained...
ciao...

YA-HA!!!

photos

2007-12-01T18:57:00.002+08:00

totally random

2007-12-01T18:55:00.000+08:00

Gosh it certainly feels like forever since I updated. I finally realized that I have a lot to blog about my life now, since a lot of events have taken place in this chapter of my life. I have never had any passion for writing but it just gives me a peace and all my doubts and questions have been cleared. I never felt any better after writing about my anger, frustrations and whatever that had just popped up in my empty head. Despite the fact that I have experienced countless joyous moments and having a bunch of loyal friends, I am still doubtful about my purpose in life and what I am living for. It seems to me that only some of what I hold dear to me is actually real. It felt real at least. But then, I still cannot fully understand them and I am still not clear in how they are benefiting me. Could someone please enlighten me?

For those who did not know, I have taken up Muay Thai recently. My social life in campus is decaying so I thought I should do something to make new friends and expand my social circle (this is what I get for gloating about my past). I did help out in the school’s choir before but it didn’t feel real, I don’t know how to say this but I don’t feel good singing anymore. I guess I needed something more adrenalin packed, something that would really excite me and get me really addicted. Then I found Muay Thai. My feet were shaking and I clenched my fists with excitement as they demonstrated techniques used by fighters in the ring. “I want to learn that too!” I said to myself after the Muay Thai demo was over, and guess what? This was how I exactly feel before I started fencing. Lmao

All my efforts and hard work are finally showing its results. I am finally ranked 9^th in the national team! YA-HA!! I realize that the only two things which will NEVER betray you are yourself and your training. I train almost everyday now and I proclaim that I have only devoted my life on my training…and nothing else. Just kidding, but it’s true that I have spent a lot of time training and neglected my other commitments and responsibilities. Ah fuck it anyway because not only I will get to fence in the next SEA games, I WILL BRING HOME A GOLD MEDAL!!! YA-HA!!

2007-09-28T12:37:00.000+08:00

Watched this movie a couple of days ago. It's another one of those Japanese horror/suspense/gory movie. The movie is totally creepy. Basically it's about the suicide fad in Japan that has a great impact on the country. The movie starts with some 54 Japanese high school girls committed suicide at the train station by jumping off the train platform, then into the track just before the train arrives which then run over all the 54 girls.

It's really interesting to see how people can get manipulated easily by words. The movie shows how an all-girl pop band is able to spread suicide message through music. I had no idea that music can be this influential and how music can really affect social changes among people...

talking about censorship...

2007-09-28T12:36:00.002+08:00

I was surfing the net when Rui De asked me to check out this article. Some of you may know about it but heck it anyway…

http://www.straitstimes.com/Latest+News/Courts+and+Crime/STIStory_160936.html

2007-09-28T12:36:00.001+08:00

After spending almost my entire vacation, we finally had our concert at the Victoria Concert Hall. Matthew asked me to help out in the choir because they lacked baritone singers. I thought it was only for a short while so I agreed. But rehearsals were like hell. I had to come to school everyday, and I would usually reach home at about 11pm. I didn’t get the chance to break fast with my family for two weeks, which is like totally depressing for me. So much for my vacation…

In the end, all those painful rehearsal and spending all my free time at school and not being able to break fast with my family, it was all worth it. We did in fact put up a kick ass performance and the audience loved it. I’ve never felt so satisfied ever since Cadet Championships. In fact those rehearsals, hard work and time spent to put up a close-to-perfect concert kind of reminded me of the Joseph musical back in 2004. haha…but that doesn’t mean I decided to join the SP choir…

2007-09-28T12:34:00.000+08:00

I’ve always wanted to blog about last two weeks’ National Trials. Okay I’ll go straight to the point. I won the second national trials! Well luck was on my side big time. The elites didn’t compete, so the only strong fencers left were Jing Xun, Joseph, and me, I guess. And it was quite an easy competition, and there should not be a reason for me to fumble because there were only 8 fencers. The thing is that I was fating during the competition!! Haha, well I guess luck was REALLY on my side.

In fact, I personally felt that DP fencers did very well for this competition. Harshan lost to Wei Wen 15-14 in the quarter final round, and harshan was fasting during the competition as well.

After National trials all of us played pool while waiting for the time to break fast. We were totally exhausted. It’s not easy for one to compete without food or water. Actually I’d rather die of hunger than to die of thirst. My throat was like completely dry. When it was about 6.30, we met up with coach and the rest at a food court. Coach was discussing with me about flying to Romania for a training camp. Although food and accommodation will be taken care of, my dad wouldn’t allow me to go because I still got school during that point of time :( . Well I guess I have to wait till the semester ends.

2007-09-28T12:28:00.001+08:00

Hey is my blog dead yet? Well it’s been more than a month since I updated. hahaha

Now I got a lot to update...

2007-08-10T21:11:00.001+08:00

Hmm… well everything has been okay for the past few days. Well I know that I really have been neglecting this blog for a long time. There isn’t much to blog about anyway. Competed Pesta Sukan last week and I got myself a silver medal for saber team. Hahas, I know that I could’ve done better in the finals and not get thrashed 15-45 by Blade club. I could tell that Mihai is getting frustrated at my fencing. Frankly speaking I admit that I was quite cocky when I competed. Not that I looked down towards the other fencers who weren’t better than me, I didn’t take them seriously unlike the Cadet championships. Maybe I underestimated them, although I didn’t really mean it…

Oh well…. Got nothing to rant and still feeling uninspired…

So I'll update again when I got something useful to blog about…

Ciao…

uh...

2007-07-26T08:39:00.000+08:00

Gosh I really have been neglecting my blog. Well I’ve really been busy and I got nothing to blog about, due to lack of inspiration. Life has been…okay. It was quite hectic, and a little bit complicated . I’ve been having these mixed emotions and i don't like it. I guess it’s just because I didn’t get everything I want. I lost in the Asian Schools Fencing Championships recently, as all of you might have known. I guess they all knew my weakness, darn. After Asian Schools, I have been feeling afraid. I really don’t know why, just scared. It’s not everyday that you get this feeling that someone is trying to kill you. Okay, I’m exaggerating. It’s just fencing rivalry thingy…never mind.

Semester Exam is just around the corner. This time I better start mugging now, no more procrastination lol. I don’t want to get Fs for my paper again. Since fencing competition season is over (I hope…), I got more time to study now. I’ll still train though, because I don’t want to lose my fencing form by the time exam’s over.

I don’t know what to write
Uninspired
Want to get the fuck out of here
How I wish so
Scared
Of what I didn’t know
Okay this is crap
Sometimes I just want to let everything go
Totally random
Maybe next time

Jackass Fucking off…

2007-07-18T22:35:00.000+08:00

I lost today... I know...

no need to tell me...i suck...

Distorted Reality

2007-07-12T00:47:00.001+08:00

She’s prepared a delicious meal:
for tonight her daughter is home;
Yet as she sets the table,
she knows she’ll be dining alone.

The Teenager calls from her bedroom,
”I’m not hungry, but thank you Mom”;
It’s an answer she’s heard a hundred times,
and she knows that something is wrong.

No matter what she prepares,
her daughter will not take a bite;
A choice that up until lately,
would have surely incited a fight

Her heart begins to silently cry,
as she hears her little girl’s voice;
She remembers what the Doctor said,
“Her death will be her own choice.

Your’ daughter is Anorexic”,
And she questioned, “How can that be;
She’s smaller now than in grade school,
When she only weighed ninety-three”.

“Anorexia Nervosas,
is an understood, deadly Disease;
Your’ daughter thinks herself to be fat,
even though her bone’s can be seen.

I could admit her to the Hospital,
and force feed her through a tube;
But unless she truly wants to seek help
there is little that we can do”.

The Mother snaps back to reality,
for her daughter she once again Prays;
Who is obsessed with being thin,
her life is the price she will pay.

Jilian Alexis

2007-07-08T20:43:00.000+08:00

Never thought that she would be
In this world of hypocrisy
Such an irony
She never want to flee

She's been loved, she's been adored
She is what any girl would want to be
Carefree, bliss
She seemed so perfect, so...

She thought, realised
What those words really meant
She saw,
the cunning foxes within them

She wants to break free
She could'nt take this reality
Running away, cutting and slashing
She found a new friend- Ecstasy

So peaceful she seemed
All her pain she had bear
All the blood that she had shed
She finally understood

Now that she is asleep
I guess she will be for eternity
Though everyone is parading
She still smiles, and try to look happy

2007-07-04T13:46:00.000+08:00

Lessons resumed today, after one whole week of exams. I’ve been trying to make a point to blog but I guess I’ve gotten lazy. Nothing much has been happening today. Well I got my admin card back!!! Yayness… I am beginning to realize that Character Development Module has been a criminal waste of time. I don’t see any relevance to what I’m studying for, yet our assignments are really tedious. I mean we got to make some movie clip presentation and community service etc… so yea I’m really getting sick of this.

Anyway, it’s really true. AVENGED SEVENFOLD IS COMING TO SINGAPORE!!! Along with Gym Class Heroes, Good Charlotte, Cobra Starship, The Academy Is…, Black Eyed Peas and more. I can’t recall the other bands’ names but I bet they are good. Sing fest 2007 will be held at Fort Canning, 9th August (I don’t give a fuck about Singapore being 41 years old!! Lol) Tickets will be sold at the door for 150 bucks!!! And I bet it will be the first come first serve basis thing. Everybody is going to start camping for the tickets, so I guess I’ll have to join them too. I hope that the tickets won’t get sold out.

I know this is quite late but Ms Teo postponed the choir recital again, this time it will be on the last day before the September term break. It’s starting to annoy me every time she pushes the recital further. She wanted me to perform for the recital, but when I asked her about my solo practice like what time does she want to start the practice, she will make a lot of excuses saying that she had just lost her voice etc. I want to do my best for the recital and make a good performance. How can these be achieved when I don’t get enough practice and rehearsals? Yes I am ranting now but I just need to let some steam off. Speaking of choir, I understand that I have some conflicts in the choir. These had made me quite unpopular among the choir members. Some due to the fact that I have received some biased treatment which I know that it had never been my fault, and other personal matters. Hack it, I know I’ve been well-disliked. Well anyway for you information, I don’t give a damn about the choir because I am not a Tanglinian anymore. Do what you want, and don’t give a damn because I do not belong there. I’ll be glad to leave if you people want me to. You guys shouldn’t bitch behind my back because I am feeling the same way as you guys are. I really got sick of the choir. the reason why I’m back is because some people ask me to come back.

Change topic, had Ngee Ann and Tanglin fencing friendly competition last week. Of course, my team got first in ranking HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Cocky I know. I was so exhausted at the end of the day I can sleep for a week without waking up even once! Haha... Mihai is coming back today so training will resume on Friday. Fuck I really need to win Asian School’s Fencing Championships and do really well for fencing. Well it’s just for some personal achievement.

Well there isn’t much for me to write for now, so toodles!!

JACKASS FUCKING OFF!!!

2007-06-28T15:10:00.000+08:00

hmm...

2007-06-26T23:44:00.000+08:00

There pretty isn’t much to blog about these days because nothing much has been happening in my life. MST starts tomorrow and I barely started my revisions, okay I already did a cycle of engineering math revision tutorial. I’ve been trying to find something inspirational to write about. I’m watching this movie, ‘Almost Famous’ starring Kate Hudson and Billy Crudup.

The story is about this 15 year old William Miller, hired by Rolling Stones Magazine to tour with, and write about Stillwater, an up and coming rock band in the 1970s. William discovers more than just fame and glory while touring with the band. Meeting people and crashing into parties, it made William realize that there it is more than just music, groupies, sex and drugs, but internal conflict between the band mates and what they did behind their backs such as sleeping with one of the band mates’ wife and trying to hog the limelight for oneself. I guess that they have been living in a fantasy where they can enjoy life and be free from responsibility. Hmm… speaking of bands and concerts, this year’s Bay beats will be held on the 3rd to 5th of august. Well I guess there will be more Indie rock bands performing this year. You guys really got to check out the local bands which will be performing this year’s Bay beats. Their sounds are really good, I’ll post more about the details when I got the time.

Anyway, there’s a rumor that AVENGED SEVENFOLD WILL BE COMING TO SINGAPORE!!! WOOT!! I heard it from Sara, but if it really turns out to be true, I so got to go for this one. Hopefully they will perform ‘Warmness on the Soul’. Haha…

Well I got to study now. I’ll post my teen icon performance footage tomorrow and upload some pictures too…

2007-06-19T10:17:00.000+08:00

Hmm… let’s see. I don’t know how to begin. Anyway I’ll blog about Sunday. Had National Individual Championships in the morning and reported 1minute and 48 seconds late which was at way better than Cadet Champs. Since my event started in 5 minutes time I had no time to warm up or make any mental preparation and I reported to my assigned piste with an empty stomach and sleepy eyes ( my event started at 9). Understandably I was totally not on form. I had 2 win and 2 losses, my prelim score was not to my personal expectation. I made it to the next round but my hopes of getting a bye was dashed based on my previous bouts. Suddenly I had this short, sharp pain in my knee joint I could hardly stand. Well it must be because I skipped warm up and I had competed 4 days straight last week. My next bout was against Jefferson and I got thrashed 15-5. my mind and heart was not in the game, and I guess everybody noticed it including judging from the way I fenced. Joseph lost to Choon Wing 15-13 (or 15-14) due to the fact that he got tensed and a little stiff because he thinks too much. Coach was screaming, telling him to calm down but his efforts were futile. Bryce didn’t make it to the second round, just lack of experience after years of not competing. Zi Hao lost to David Chen 15-14. it was a good bout though. After the competition I had lunch with Bryce, Jefferson and Zi Hao.

After everything I rushed down to IMM for TEENAGE ICON 2007!!! I was incredibly late because I had to report to IMM at 1, but I came at 0130. Got a little lost so I called Doreen for help. We met at the McDonalds and the other 21 contestants. I had my touch up and then briefing by Mahfouz. Told us about the mistakes the contestants from the previous heats made and then he gave us some tips on how to overcome stupid tech errors. Everyone quickly got acquainted with each other and thankfully we got along really well. Doreen made us sing our songs that we chose before the actual thing begins. I spotted some good singers among the 23 of us; some of them were just about average.

Unfortunately I didn’t make it to the semi finals. I was a little disappointed because there were stupid mistakes that I know I shouldn’t have made and you know how much I hate losing in any way and got sick of it. I FORGOT MY LYRICS HALFWAY IN THE BEGINNING OF THE SECOND VERSE!!!! FUCK!! Although actually it was only a line and almost everybody did not notice it, except for those who know ‘Kissed from A Rose’ by seal. Another reason why I lost was that I know that nobody voted for me, so I lost 35% of my overall marks. I just can’t depend on the other 65% which was the judges’ score although my performance was okay (honestly I really think I screwed up big time). Well I won’t get a total 65/65 because I think I really lost marks in terms of my image and originality (I guess they thought that I am a ‘Twohill poser’) so for me the votes also play a big role in my score. Anyway I felt that the voting was not just because you got to buy a shampoo product from ‘Follow Me’ or ‘Silkpro’ to vote. Who would actually spend big bucks on some meaningless shampoo product to vote on my singing? Anyway none of my friends watched me sing other than Bryce and Ann but they left soon after they found out that Ellyn sprained her ankle. What Bryce said to me about my performance was certainly very encouraging. Note the sarcasm. I guess this competition actually isn’t about searching for local talent but more of an opportunity of promoting shampoos and soaps and lotion and whatever everybody had in their bathroom.
Anyway I told myself that Teen Icon will be my first and last performance/competition/whatever, because I know that I will never make it big in Singapore. Like HELLO, this is Singapore where they prefer foreign talents than appreciating what locals really have which is as good and authentic as those foreign suckers whom the adore so much that they will spend big bucks on them. Good things only happen to some people, that how life really goes no matter how hard you tried or how much you REALLY want it. I do understand that it does not happen, maybe it will never happen. Well I know that I’m not good enough, so that’s why I decided to quit singing because I guess it will never happen to me. HAHAHA!!! if not I will never want to waste my time on my secondary school fantasy of being someone big through music.

Will upload the pics later...

2007-06-12T14:03:00.000+08:00

WOOT!!

i just got back from chalet so i'll try to make this a short one. have been fencing the whole week. at last babz had gotten himself a gold medal/trophy/whatever yall wanna call it....

fucking U17 was damn tough and scary... met bai rong in the finals and beat him 15-14!!!! it was so close...hahaha

the next day was U20... lost to bai rong in the semi final round with the score 15 -14....hahaha

then U17 team... lost to CJC (bai rong was in the team) 45-43 in the finals...fuck i dont even know why im always meeting him la...anyway i was super shagged during that bout so i couldnt give my all...

U20 team... beat RJC with the score of 45-37....IN THE FINALS!!! HAHAHA!!!!

so let's see...it seems that i won at least something everyday...hahahaha....i got 4 trophies to bring home....
got thrashed at selagor open, come back singapore start to own...haha

next competition to concentrate on.... ASIAN SCHOOLS CHAMPS!!! i really gotta beat the hell out of the malaysians this time...still cannot forget how i got thrashed. grr...

anyway....

do come down this sunday at imm!!!! 4-8pm!!! teen icon heats '07!!! i will be taking part with my sis!!!! so i need all the help i can get to win my $3000 cash!!!!!

jackass fucking off...

2007-06-05T09:34:00.000+08:00

i fucked up selangor open. im so dissappointed in myself. this is the second time i got knocked off in the prelims. fuck...

i made it to teenage icon heats....WOOT!!!!

but at least i can go home without being empty handed, because i got an email from this cute malaysian chick, but with the help of matt lopez which was really unexpected.
i got a picture of her too!! WOOT!!!!

BABZ HAD GOTTEN LUCKY!!! HAHAHA

2007-05-30T15:56:00.000+08:00

guess wad? i lost my wallet along with my IC and student admission card, training hasnt been that good for me, i feel like a fucking loser, my grandma has passed away, audition's on friday (same day as KL trip for Selangor Open). Plus i am fencing 4 competitions and a month and MST is about 3 to 4 weeks away and i havent started anything yet...

FUCK. I better do well for the audition and Selangor Open , as well as MST and other competitions or i will be labelled as the UNLUCKY... aaaaaaarrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!1

2007-05-26T22:07:00.000+08:00

seriously these have not been working out for me till i find my stuff....

2007-05-24T00:58:00.000+08:00

i decided to act cute and not to grow up for a while...

2007-05-21T08:25:00.000+08:00

PHANTOM OF THE OPERA WAS SUPER DUPER UBER SICK!!!! I WUD PAY TO WATCH THEM AGAIN, EVEN IF IT'S FOR FREE!!!! SICK PROPS AND COSTUMES, NOT TO MENTION THE FIREWORKS THEY USED DURING THE PERFORMANCE ESPECIALLY BOTH PHANTOM'S AND CHRISTINE'S VOCALS THAT GAVE ME THOSE MUSICAL ORGASMS!!

5 OUT OF 5 FOR PHANTOM!!! BEST MUSICAL IVE EVER WATCHED!!!

2007-05-16T17:36:00.000+08:00

I TOTALLY MISSED MY SPARC INTERVIEW!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!

2007-05-15T15:46:00.001+08:00

Random facts about babz….

I’m afraid of the dark. 0_o...
I get really cocky most of the time...
my nose is fucking huge...
I’m not much of an emo actually… I get high a lot of times...
I am going to compete in the world champs on 2010...
I am getting fat…maybe…
I think I can be both an extrovert and an introvert...
I think a lot, sometimes I think so much my friends won’t understand what I am talking about,
I have been fencing for 5 years...
I express myself by singing...
and I like blogging in the dark...

2007-05-15T15:20:00.000+08:00

I’m posting in the middle of lecture right now. I think now life has been more organized now. I am getting used to the life in poly now. Well I got to buck up now since MST’s coming up and I am going to KL for Selangor Open this June, if my passport haven’t expire. I really got to train harder now for Selangor or I’m going to burn my 250 bucks I forked out for the competition. Hopefully I found the stuff in my basement by that time because I still haven’t quite found it yet. Maybe if I straighten things up and just focus during training I would find it. Hmm…

Anyway I’ve been listening to Casualties and Exploited. Loud music and super strong lyrics.

youre now in detention
you couldnt pay attention
be a good man
kissing ass is the way

brainwashed, brainwashed
respect the tie and suit
brainwashed, brainwashed
respect the man in blue
brainwashed, brainwashed
they are better than you
brainwashed, brainwashed

they took your music books
you got a football to be cool
respect the teacher he knows best
be a robot like the rest

brainwashed, brainwashed
respect the tie and suit
brainwashed, brainwashed
respect the man in blue
brainwashed, brainwashed
they are better than you
brainwashed, brainwashed

work to get your pay
buying makes you a better man
produce a generation of slaves
the system never really cared

brainwashed, brainwashedr
espect the tie and suit
brainwashed, brainwashed
respect the man in blue
brainwashed, brainwashed
they are better than you
brainwashed, brainwashed

- brainwashed from the start
- brainwashing the youth
- they control your brain
- and keep you from the truth

I find it quite deluded though. It’s just obvious that the education system brainwashes every child’s mind. Kids are really vulnerable because they are immature and naive. So the people try to influence their heads with the concepts they think is right and let the kids learn THEIR way of life and hopefully accept it. Respect the teachers and bastards in blue and kissing ass IS their way of life so most of Singapore’s 3rd generation accept sucking up and giving in instead of fighting for their rights and beliefs, which made them think that this is right and well, everybody accepted kissing ass to superiors to get where they want to be so they think that this is right. ‘Keeping the youths from the truth…’ tell me, what is the truth? What you think is true for you may be a lie to others. Therefore the government will make the youths accept what they think is right and is the truth because the youths are obviously too blinded by MTV and porn, being really apathetic to politics and whatever has been going on with the world. But there will only be a handful who wouldn’t accept their way of life. Kissing ass and be a pussy for other people, what the fuck?!?! oh well..

2007-05-09T10:36:00.000+08:00

I planned to blog the day before yesterday but I decided not to because I wasn’t feeling well. I got a mild fever and flu with a major thrat infection 0_o… I had no choice but to skip fencing 3 whole days. I’m feeling a lot better now although my throat is killing me, which means… I CAN’T SING!!!! It wasn’t until recently I realized that singing has always my form of self-expression. I sing to forget. But singing does represent me and I don’t care how many people think that I have a bad tone, cannot sing, I am out of tune or whatsoever. Singing makes me happy. Anyway I am not going to miss tonight’s training or I can kiss my fencing form goodbye.

Life has been rather…interesting recently. From losing my stuff in my basement to forgetting what I am and want to be in life, to what they call this serious obsession which can really lead to something homicidal. So far everything has been REALLY weird. It’s funny how you can have the gut feeling that something’s a miss and you can really sense something that is portentous. Oh well I hope I can get over it soon or I will die in this bullshit they called life, without dying literally.

Ever since I got this notebook I seemed to blog in my room with curtains closed, door locked and lights switched off. I guess I really can find peace to blog here where nobody can stick their nose at the side of the screen or behind you asking, “OI!!! WATCHING PORN UH?!”. I saw the moonlight shimmering through the night sky while i was on my way home the other night. How the clouds blended into the moonlight and create this misty effect, and the bright twinkling stars seemed to stand out in the dark . The beauty of the night sky reminded me how ecstatic the nightlife has already been, but how depressing it always gets when the darkness turns to light. Nightlife has been a ‘one night only’ affair to me. It helps you to forget everything you have in your mind especially your problems, be it small or big, simple or complicated. But many failed to realize that sometimes you forget so much that you forget who you really and where you belong. That sense of guilt will always be a parasite in your heart and it will spread if you don’t do something about it. Oh well what I can say. I know this blog of mine will never change anything because it’s been written by a 17 year old jackass who refused to grow up and change, and trying to make it big in life at the same time. Hee hee… jackass…

How would you feel if you finally starting to feel that you belong to something or somewhere but when the time comes for you to really let go, that place is already gone? Why can’t I relive my past instead of gloating about it? Like I said, my secondary school hay days have always been great for me. But now I can feel this sense of loyalty and brotherhood beginning to fade away from everyone I knew. Everybody seemed to forget. So much for those oaths we took during those days. Everybody have started to form their own cliques. So why am I wasting time trying to expand my circle of friends instead of forming new ones and leave out the old ones? I guess I am such a jackass not to do so.

Shakespeare said that the world is a stage and people are merely players (something like that), which makes life the play itself. Is he trying t say that whatever we do and experienced has been carefully scrutinized by someone else? Or is he trying to instill the fact that there are too many two faced phonies who acted good and angelic in front of you just to benefit their self-interest?? (The people are merely the players)

Hmm….ponder over this…

Jackass fucking off…

2007-05-01T09:58:00.000+08:00

I posting this in the middle of the night…..

I’m turning 17 in like…2 hours time?? Yea big fuck!!! I don’t give a damn about it anymore. I’ve been feeling empty inside, I’ve been surrounded by people but I still got this sense of alienation inside me. And the most fucked up part is that it always happen when I turn one year older. Is this a curse or something ? Turning 17 huh?? Being a year older make no diffrence to me. In fact, in case nobody knew, I never celebrated my birthday since I was 12. Everyone tend to forget about it or they don’t seem to care so I don’t see a reason why I should be concern about it. It’s amazing how your imaginations can run wild in your head while blogging in the dark. It isn't fun when you have people forcing you to be someone you’re not. I tend to lose sight in everything I believed in. I can’t seem to find the stuff inside my basement. I’m losing the heart to fence again. I’ve never felt so devastated besides last year, *ahem…and whatever I’ve been practicing isn’t working. All the movements I executed during sparring do not seem to come out right. I’m getting less motivated to fence. Like I said, I can’t find my fire anymore…I’m dead….

It’s funny how you can sense that your friends have already moved on in life and meeting other people along the way, but they seemed to forget their friends they have made in the yesteryears and the time they had spent together. You feel lost when you are still stuck, gloating about your past because for me the past has always been great and you never seem wanting to move on in life and act like you are still in those secondary school hey days… Basically I feel really useless to actually type out whatever I’m feeling right now because I know I can change nothing to benefit myself. I’m forcing myself to swallow this awful medicine which I believe that will make me stronger spiritually in my life, if that is, I have the time…

Thanks Jia Wei for the birthday gift, I really need a laugh in times like this and Sha said she’s getting me something, I wonder what it will be??? Anyway I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. Not many give me presents during my birthday. I’m being such an emo jackass now and I can’t help it. I tried to force my tears out but I couldn’t… I’m completely desperate to get rid of this depression out of my system. I’m feeling lonely too…sigh…

I wonder if everyone including *ahem still remember my birthday?? I sure do remember her's… I bet she could hardly remember my name!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Well I don’t care because I’m living in this bullshit alone and I am going to die alone so those motherfucking two-faced phonies can just fuck off!!! I can never be too happy about myself because sometimes I feel like commiting suicide, though I never believe in taking your own life because that is what idiots do and jackasses avoid. I wish that I can wish away this feeling but my actions seemed futile no matter what I do. FUCK LAH!!!!!!!!

So that’s all I want to say…. ‘Happy’ 17th birthday babz…

Emoshits are only reserved for the jackasses and the social retards…..

But I’m not a social retard….
So jackass FUCKING OFF!!!!!

2007-04-29T16:20:00.000+08:00

It’s 3 am in the morning rite now and I am just about to go to bed, right after I had my supper . I just got back from DXO and damn I wish I could stay longer and stay up the whole night on the dance floor. Hahas, oh well parents are still parents no matter how old you are (I’m going to be 17 soon! Hope I’m not much of a jackass now… lol). At least I know that they still care and do whatever parents normally do and I respect that. That’s why I need to follow their curfew. I won’t need a curfew soon. I consider myself lucky to have mom and dad. I mean they do respect my decisions I make in my life and really trust me. So in return I want to be filial to them so that I won’t betray their trust. I may not show it but I really do appreciate whatever they have done to me and I’m thankful for that. They are courageous enough to let me go a little bit one at a time. So yeah just want to say I love them a lot… okay I’m being sentimental now so I’m going to stop this…

DXO was great though it was bored at first. Sheng Kai was complaining that there aren’t enough girls to grind…hahahaha. I scored a few here and there until I forgot about my curfew (argh), so I had to reach home early. Well I wish I can stay up the whole night…
Oh well….

2007-04-19T02:57:00.000+08:00

Hey hey…well I had my first lecture today and I totally didn’t pay attention at all to the lecturer. Lol. Oh well, the lectures isn’t much actually, just about the introduction to some electrical components and stuff. So there isn’t much worth paying attention about because I can just review the lecture PowerPoint slides in my student account…hahahas…. I was chatting with winsome and Duncan during my PEEE lecture…hahahas… Corpus Christi peeps. Gosh it’s really been more than a year since Perth exchange programme, which is a week of unforgettable experience.

I don’t really believe the idea of ‘move on, leave the past behind us…’ concept. Well, it’s just because I believe that everything happens for a reason, such as karma or something like that. You can’t just literally forget the past because people can never forget their past. Try and make the best use out of it. Why must people forget the past and blindly looking on to the future? Without past, there is no present. Without present, there will be no future. So in other words, without past there will never be life. It’s quite ridiculous when people make the same mistakes over and over again just because they wanted to move on without even thinking back of what they’ve done in the past. Basically people like that got no life. Oh well…

There’s something wrong with my notebook again. Well I can’t access internet at Macdonald. Grr… there is no connectivity or it is limited (well I can’t understand computer language okay…) and it’s due to the fact that the network did not assign the network address to the computer (what the fuck?!?! I don’t even know what that means. Well too bad I’m a computer dummy…L) So I will make a point to visit T14 again to do some shit… fucking hell. Well I already am starting to hate computers by now but I just got to live with it…argh…

I can’t sleep right now. I just had a cup of cappuccino at macdonald’s… I guess I had to stay up all night huh…well I don’t know what else to blog about right now so I guess this is it so far…

Next topic to post: Reality v.s Idealism

Give me some time to think about this….

Jackass fucking off….

2007-04-16T22:56:00.000+08:00

lectures have been a bore!! hahas, seriously nothing new or interesting had happened today except during the CCA exhibition thingy i did something that i rather find it uh, OUTRAGEOUS!!! hahahahaha!!!!!! the thing starts next week and uh im not sure when it will end. oh well, i guess we have to say how it goes. i forgot to mention that i signed up in the SP rugby team.

well i give up on the tagboard debate on me against uh....TANGLIN SECONDARY SCHOOL!!!!! well i could not be bothered anymore cause i know that this verbal engagement will lead to nowhere and my face will be even more ruined. one more thing, talking to these uh, 'uniformed individuals' can really be a pain in the ass when you are against their motion. it's obvious that everyone is too stupid not to realise that the whole thing has been out of point. after much lectures from jing ying....

I REALISED I HAVENT GROWN UP ONE BIT!!!! WOOT!!! THEYRE THE IDIOTS AND I'M A SERIOUS JACKASS!!!!!

ayte...i admit it. i'm laughing at myself right now, i cant imagine how stupid i look in people's point of view. oh gosh this is sooooo embarassing!!!! do i owe grace an apology for 'fooling around' or something (but there's no way i will bow to her okay!!!)...anybody tell me leh...BUT PLEASE NOT MY BOXERS!!!! I WONDER WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEM?!?!?! THEY ARE MY FAVOURITE PAIRS OKAY(sob...sob...) LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!

alrite im half asleep right now..trying to uh...do watever that is necessary...im just so shagged after training....imagine i gotta do this like 5 times a week and 3 hours a day...argh!!!but it's all for the sense of achievement!!!hahas...

okay i gtg now...

NAZRI THE JACKASS FUCKING OFF!!!!

2007-04-14T14:16:00.000+08:00

WTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTF!!!!!!!!!!!!hahahahahas....

it's funny when how a wanker reacts when he or she has been questioned about the concept and philosophy of each subculture she claimed to belong to...hahahas...

they will just retaliate by saying how much of a dickhead i am and insult me upside down just to make me look bad. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! seriously i really looked bad on that blog. actually it's my mistake for putting it in the wrong way. well i got a little overexcited and made sounded really belligerent. however, despite all this, they never answer my question.

for example, "do you really know wad a punk is and its ideology? do you know wad are the diffrent types of punk such as 'cop-killers','violent','ultra-violent','individual' and 'straightedge'?"

RIGHT GRACE??HAHAHAHAHAHAS!!!!!!!!!!!

so...for more action and drama....tune in to punkeverdies-rockon.blogspot.com....

P.S: read the previous tagboard posts first to see wads going on....actually it's my fault for starting the show...lol
about the boxers issue, i just got a lot boxers of the same colour, BLUE!! hahahas, it's really pathetic but i will make a point to buy more boxers of a DIFFRENT COLOUR!!! HAHAHAS!!! so anybody can help me recommend wad colour its best for my butt?? thanks ;))

Actually thanks to her post, now i really know how popular i have become. who have been bitching and talking bad about me. who my FRIENDS really are...if it were not for this post i would not have lived a lie and accept my 'friends'' disguised hypocrisy and bullshit. i really know now each individuals' real character behind those mask...some loyalty huh? oh well, even my so-called bros do bitch about me( not hannibal and ah lek)....now i do know where i really belong....NOWHERE!!!! but home with my family members who really accepts me for who i am...
if you guys who are offended to wad i say....I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING HELL NOT!!!i sincerely apologise.....actually i never talk bad (as in REALLY backstab) about my friends...the petty stuff like "SHIT HE REALLY PISS ME OFF BECAUSE....." hahahas...sorry la...cannot help it...but for those who really backstab me, i suspect who yall are but i never want to know, i'm just sorry for making you think this way about me...im not going to write out your names or i will just create misunderstandings and such that will bring matter worse for all of us...so yea...

to think that really cannot live without these two-faced phonys, please im not that pathetic, im strong enough to live by myself....

it's gonna hit you as hard as life. no matter how toughwe are it's still gonna beat us to our knees if you let it, but it doesnt matter how hard you get hit, it only matters how much you can get hit and keep moving foward. how much you can take and keep moving forward. hahas. i got this from the rocky movie, so pathetic...i just got inspired by this quote...hahahaha!!!! yea....dang have i felt so hurt in my life before?? maybe its just me alienating myself from this life i'm living in right now...oh well,

life begins...sigh...

im going to choir to save my face on thursday...hope it will not be a violent one....i will refrain myself...
if u people want to flame me like how SEX MANIAC did, there's a tagboard for a goddamned reason...dont live a lie and give me this bullshit...i will see how to counterflame y'all....

but i assure you that i will not make it really personal.... :))

2007-04-13T00:44:00.001+08:00

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Very High
Wrath:	High
Sloth:	Low
Envy:	High
Lust:	Medium
Pride:	Very High

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

hmm....not bad huh??

2007-04-11T19:29:00.000+08:00

im in no mood to blog......
i hate computers......

=.="

2007-04-09T23:48:00.000+08:00

ARLOW ARLOW ARLOW!!!! it's been a long time since i posted(i think). life has been pretty hectic now. SP Orientation Programme has already started. i missed second half of the Day one orientation due to the fact that i need to get my notebook by today!!!!(last day wad...) so i rushed to the enrolment centre to make my student admission card, i looked like a freaking dork in the photo with my fringe not covering my eyebrow. then i had to wait for TWO AND A HALF HOURS for my notebook!!! i wasnt in the mood to flare up so i just had to wait patiently. Orientation was not bad execpt that i have not seen any chiobus in the campus. i bet there isnt any chiobus in my school...oh well. i made three friends the first thing i reached the convention centre. well, actually the third one was at the enrolment centre, he took civil and structural engineering, and the other two is from my school lah.looking foward to tomorrow, hopefully i can unexpect the expected...LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

well for these past few weeks i have made a wardrobe makeover....WOOT!!!! hahahas...yea...u ppl shud haf seen my wardrobe, it was unbelievable.....ahahaha

on sat...went to danceworks '07...basket Juying owned again, UTG got 3rd... @%!%#$^@$&!$&$*@#$%
but actually they deserved it...strong group compared to tanglin...i am not a pro in dancing so i dont know ad they lacked.. =.=". had supper with ms. solastri and mrs sulaiman at the cheese prata shop. then they left us for ST. JAMES POWEHOUSE!!! 0_0...hahahas...

so thats it la...hahahahaha

2007-04-02T12:13:00.000+08:00

yesterday was fucked up. hahas. it's obvious that i lost yesterday's national trails, at the quaterfinal round. hahas. i fucked up a lot yesterday because i know i could have done better and coach was like ,"what ARE YOU DOING?!?!why no ambition to win? where's your mentality to fence?? why intimidated?". then i was like oh shit. hahas. anyway i was a little panicky becuase everybody changed their sytle of fencing now. hahas. i was completely stunned during the competition, maybe thats why i lost. anyway, i am not worried about anything since this is just my first competition i took part this year, there's still a lot harder once like Selagor Open, and FSI (shitshitshit)....so yea im going to train harder from today onwards, well at least after my choir recital which is on THE LAST WEEK OF MAY!!!!! cb.

my dad just bought a new PC, so there's no need for me to go online late at night, and im getting my laptop soon by this friday. WOOOOHHHOOO!!!! hahahas.

i'm listeining to Winds of Change by Scorpions. some hard rock band. i find this song inspirational. this song also reflects the events that happened during the cold war in eastern europe in the early 1990s. the fall of communism which led to the berlin wall. ever since stalin died, communism was in a mess. actually i hated cold war becuase it's just too boring. it's not literally a war, just some cold relationship between USSR (russia) and USA. all they did was just taking their military power to the next level and scare each other's pants off. USSR and USA happened to be the two most powerful countries during that era. USA have MTV and hollywood while USSR have muscle-bound she-male female olympians and Stalin. I dont know much about USSR but i know hollywood has played a major role in spreading propaganda to promote democracy(or the all american culture, or even USA itself??). since tv is an important source of brainwashing couch potatoes, they might as well make the full use out of it. in the 4th rocky movie, rocky balboa thrashed the russian boxer and he trained by using some ancient stuff in a barn deep in the mountains while that russian trained by using all those high tech stuff and gizmos in a gym. then this underdog thrashed the russian, reapresnting the all american dream. doesnt this show that americans are the good guys and they are heroes and all other bullshits. people will think that USA is a powerful country to have such 'heroes' in their country. in my opinion, not that i am referring to al the americans out there but their american politics are just bullshit and full of crap. im not going to post it here because im just plain lazy. if u want to know just ask me...lol

2007-03-31T19:03:00.000+08:00

i'm dead tired rite now. what a fucked up way to start a post. well anyway nothing much happened today. actually nothing interesting happened today. i overslept today and came 45 minutes late for training. I was really shagged and i had no mood to train. i was yawning throughout the morining and i could not help it, seriously. then i just slept during training in the afternoon, just couldnt help it...

oh and there's national trials tomorrow.....

2007-03-28T01:09:00.000+08:00

im sitting on my chair, staring at the screen while im just merely blogging aimlessly. well there's nothing to blog about these days, since everyday has been a routine, well except that i let my cats go (not ABANDON) after months of feudal war with my neighbour who turned out to be a total biatch, she is so bitchy i bet she is equavalent to those hungry canines by the street. so we thought this would end the cold war.

damn i still cant get over the fact that school starts in a month from now. i dont know why but it feels like a year. and my wardrobe needs to be filled up a little bit more, still looking rather pathetic. i havent got my own laptop yet till end of this week :)). i'm starting to do homework the school has given me. it's the prepmath programme thingy. hahas they just know that my math sucks like shit due to fact that i have no interest in mathematics and i have other more productive things to indulge on, or i am just plain lazy. i am not the guy who is passive and can stone for hours reading a book or something like that. i'll only study when the time comes like exams (gosh i miss school) or when you see me behaving really weird.

choir practice was okay. the groupie thing still bugged me out. and i got flamed for my sucky vocals which is not good enough. hahahas so much for those ppl who thought that i can really sing aye?? well these things happen.

well as you can listen, i've changed the song in my blog. it's Warmness On The Soul by Avenged Sevenfold. i got hooked up to this song again after months of not listening to it. this song brings lots of pain and one of the most fucked up memories i had in my last year of secondary school life although it made me learn a lesson i'll never forget... DONT BE A FUCKING AFC!!!!lol... in fact listening to this song made me feel as if i was there again, where it all started (not at tss). for fucking hell she was not the girl i knew during the week when she's back in singapore. hahas. for some goddamned reason i'm feeling emo again, must be the fucking song. come to think of it, i didnt know why i got so obsessed over that bullshit that really tore me apart. i really felt so stupid and idiotic to fall for her at that point of time when i was DELUDED. life moves on and im happy for who and what i am now ;)..

2007-03-22T01:06:00.001+08:00

i'm bored and rotting away...

2007-03-19T01:55:00.000+08:00

hey to all gorgeous ppl...

to those who think that they are not gorgeous at all, you people are FUCKING LOSERS!!!!
so today was great. went to the gym, well it's been a long time since i workout and im feeling fatter not despite the fact that i have lost 7 kg in three months. Workout workout workout until 5 pm. when i reached home i was getting ready to go for my FIRST jam session!!! WOOT!!! but i had to go through all my mom's nagging about music that is basically a waste of time and unproductive...i was like WAT THE FUCKING HELL!!! man at least i didnt smoke or drink or worst...TAKE DRUGS!!!! so be thankful for that mom!!! headed to the zai studios which it's at kallang pudding road. man that place was like FUCKING HUGE!!!! and the service was FUCKING GREAT!!! the owners of the jam studio was like smiling and they are supper nice. It makes me want to jam there again despite the distance from my house. Plus, that place is just two months old so it's a new studio which also means new equiptment. but i just lllluuuurrrrvvvvvveeeeeee the place. the auntie was so nice. on the wy bak she gave us tidbits to munch on. should jam there again.

by the way, i didnt talk about the band i recently joined. met glen from soft.com.sg (it's a music forum..) and we intro each other. then i met the rest of his bandmates.

kc -guitarist

wan-bassist

alex-drummer

glen, himself-guitarist

and i met alex's chio gf who happens to have the same name as jing ying!!! lol...and the thing is, theyre older than me by at least 6 yrs O_0....hahas, but theyre a cool bunch of ppl. they happened to be really close before i came and still really close. hahas. after jamming at zai studios we went to the nearest kopitiam and had supper. hahas...it was fun jamming with them..we did...

everlong-foo fighters
pardon me-incubus
my hero-foo fighters...

then i missed the last rain home and took a cab..... =.='''
\but then again...today was fun... =)

2007-03-16T01:36:00.000+08:00

well nothing much happened today lately, except that i went to SP to do my pre-enrolment thingy and send in my course preference with azhairul. Hahas. After that i went to jurong point to have a medical checkup for some SP shit. What the fuck the first thing they asked to do is to have my urine tested. So basically i need to pee in a plastic cup (eeww....), then i put the dipstick (chromatography??) into a plastic bag then hand the sample over to them. My reaction as i walked out was, "oh my goodness lah....". Hahahas. I came back to the clinic after a few minutes with the sample in my hand (which i put it in athe goddamned plastic bag of course) and waited to get my height and weight tested, and eye test. Well, as usual i never failed the eye test, PERFECT EYESIGHT!!!! WOOT!!! hahas. I still haven't grown a cm and i've only lost 2 kg (no wonder my knee is killing me) so..

height= 165 cm
weight=78 kg (fats and MUSCLES!!!)
BMI=28 something??

after all that checkup, i got to fork out 22 bucks then go eat then reach home. Took a 3 hour nap and then watched PRISON BREAK SEASON 2!!!! hahas, singapore TV is fucking slow. i bet Corbin have watched the entire of season two by now :( ... but i'll just take my time and indulge myself. Oh well

i almost forgot that i got a jam this weekend at night. hahas.

2007-03-14T00:17:00.000+08:00

i'm dead tired right now. I only have 3 hours of sleep to day, hahas. Slept at 3, woke up at 6. Hahahahas. Choir camp, hahahas. Fine I get to sleepover afterall, i'm being so stupid. Wait, when i reached home i slept from 10 to 2 (hahahahahahahahahas!!!!) and i'm still soooooooo tired. Hahahas...

2007-03-11T23:34:00.000+08:00

hey...

just got back fron the IT show thingyat suntec. damn the place was freaking crowded,i thought i could at least buy something but suddenly i didnt have the mood. Hahahas. Anyway there's choir camp tomorrow. To save myself from boredom, i'm forcing myself to go. Not that i don't like or anything, but what's the point of going to the two days one night camp? i can't sleep over in school because i am just an alumni of the school. i also don't understand why they expect me to help out during the camp while i am treated as an outsider of the school?? for fuck!! i dont mean to say this because im feeling a little fucked up now so i can be a schmuck once in a while. i wish i could sleepover but sadly im not a student of the school.

anyway i've always felt that classical music makes me feel rather restricted. it's so standard and i can't put myself into the song as in i cannot express myself. classical music is really old school, boring. hey, if it were not for classical, rock music may never exist. so i got to appreciate classicals ONLY for that reason. hahahas...

i know it has been quite a while to write/type/post this but whatever. i got posted to Singapore Polytechnic!!!!hahahas....studying triple E (electrical and electronics engineering)..hahahas....cant wait to start school...life sucks without commitments and responsibilities....this is wat i realised after 3 months without school...hahahas...

i'm still not ove Daughtry yet. hahahas. Now listening to THERE AND BACK AGAIN and WHAT I WANT previously. featuring Slash. 0_0...hahas...i really need to get a band or something because i just want to.
i missed moshing and going to gigs. hmm...maybe i'll go for one next week. hahas...

2007-03-07T20:58:00.000+08:00

I GET TO GO TO SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOT!!!!!!!

2007-03-04T01:50:00.000+08:00

FUCK LA I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-03-01T21:29:00.000+08:00

Got Daughtry's album!!!!!WOOT!!!!hahahas....borrowed from hafiz...now i cant It's Not Over out of my head...hahas...the song is so i dont know how to describe it...but outstanding vocals by Chris Daughtry (why did he name his band after himself??)...i guess he's quite smart not singing the contract with Fuel...smart move...hahas...anyway enjoy....It's Not Over by Daughtry...

I was blown away
What could I say
It all seemed to make sense
You've taken away everything
And I can't deal with that.

I try to see the good in life
but good things in life are hard to find
We'll blow it away, blow it away
Can we make this something good?
Well I'll try to do it right this time around

Let's start over
Try to do it right this time around
It's not over
Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground
This love is killin me
But you're the only one
It's not over

I've taken all I can take
And I cannot wait
We're wastin too much time
Bein strong, holdin on
Can't let it bring us down

My life with you means everything
So I won't give up that easily
I'll blow it away, blow it away
Can we make this something good?
Cause it's all misunderstood

Well I'll try to do it right this time around
Let's start over
Try to do it right this time around
It's not over
Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground
This love is killin me
But you're the only one
It's not over

We can't let this get away
Let it out, let it out
Don't get caught up in yourself
Let it out

Let's start over
We'll try to do to it right this time around
It's not over
Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killin me
But you're the only one
It's not over

Let's start over
It's not over, yeah...
This love is killin me
But you're the only one
It's not over

2007-02-28T21:02:00.000+08:00

life has been really boring, actually i have nothing to talk about. Except that I'm going to the rsaf open house at marina square. I'm considering to apply for the joint poly-SAF sponsorship thingy, signing up under the air force. Hahahas, cmon I've always wanted to join the air force since I was 5, after watching the F16 in action and watchin Iron Eagle, and Independence Day. hahahahas, actually I've been wanting to fly but i dont think i can pilot the jet fighters since I'm 5cm short from the minimum height requirement (I'm 165 cm by the way)...haiz )': but it's okay i can still fly a chopper...hahas... no taining on friday (sobs)...tmrw got choir, but I'm not gonna run since I have been running every morning just to kill time but i dont seem to lose FATS!!! I'm getting bored...
so babz....FUCKING OFF!!!!!!!

boredom...

2007-02-21T00:15:00.000+08:00

as u can see, my life has been really mundane. With nothing to do i ended up being a couch potato...hahas, just like during the holidays after prom. Fucking no life now. Going shopping tomorrow (errrr...okayla..) then maybe im free at night...watever the case is i dont give a shit....

WHEN IS TRAINING GOING TO RESUME!!!!!!!!!! GOD PLEASE SAVE ME FROM BOREDOM!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

well thanks to mirza, he really made my day by sending me a cartoon...

http://www.happeepill.com/cartoons/enjetsemut/enjet.htm

this is so funny...and hope you enjoy it and really make you day....

2007-02-17T00:45:00.000+08:00

today was okay la...i wanted to come to school in the morning for the chinese new year celebration...yes with the boring lion dance as the first item which took like so long to end....argh!!! yer...but then i woke up at 1130....what the fuck...hahas...i guess i got too used waking up and sleeping late...hahas...i think i slept at 3 in the morning...hahas...i felt funny that night...cant describe it...hahas...

for some god-damned reason Tiger Lily-Matchbook Romance have become my lullaby before i go to sleep and the worst thing is...it is one of the songs that i hated most...and i cant even go to sleep with that song going around in my head...hahas...anyway i hate the song just because it's too sad and heartbreaking...hahas...i wasnt myself last night, as in not Babz...haiz...they said whatever doesn't kill you will only make you stronger...well i'll see how true that will be...hahas...im listening to Saw Loser now...yer their former band was Pug Jelly (for those who didnt know...if you dont even know who they are...you are a FUCKING LOSER!!!!) their geting more emo as compared to the last album...wanna know more....go buy the album...i didnt...i borrowed haifz's CD..hahas...lazy to buy...oh yeah did i write anything about fall out boy's new album...i just got my hands on one recently...their music make my blood rush everytime i listen to it...

had training tonight...as usual i was shagged....i need to think MORE while on the piste this time...damn...i tend to think of one move and stick to it when it works...joseph did the maths (woah!!!)...zi hao said,"joseph you're really mad...u can apply math in fencing...and i failed my maths"...hahas...so yeah...i need to work on my footwork too...too monotonous..hahas...maybe i can apply music to fencing like how joseph used maths for fencing...muahahahahahahahahahaha...i guess i need more time to train then...but i wonder if i can do well this year since i just switched to sabre...gotta win and gain more points for my rankings...hopefully i will be able to catch up fast since i'll be training 3 times a week as of i-don't-know-when... :( guess i gotta wait...

choir camp in a few more weeks and recital in like two months time?? haiz...sianz watever la...just waste one night and a few dollars...after that play pool again...hahahas...

cant wait for poly life...bet it's gonna be hectic...being a dog and come regularly for dog training...hahas...trying to find a band and finish up my unfininshed songs...hahas...yer...

2007-02-14T23:45:00.000+08:00

today as usual it was fucked up...i did what i wanted today....still faliq laughed his ass off....but i dont think it worked...FUCKING FAT HOPE SIA!!!!!!!!!!!argh fuck death uh...hahas...but....haiyah....anyway im too tired to blog now...i dont think i will be coming to choir practice tomorrow because there is a LOT of things i need to forget so...yeh...im sleepy so....this is Babz...

FUCKING OFF!!!

things i never told anyone...

2007-02-14T01:17:00.000+08:00

these are the few things that i have never told anyone...

i hate losing...in fact i am afraid of losing
i'm jealous of people around me almost all the time
i hate sarcasms and indirect insults
i hate to feel inferior
i never liked being labelled
always thought that everyone is better than me...that i suck at everything i do
the feeling of getting backstabbed.....most of the time
don't tell me how to behave and how i should present myself...i will think that whatever i do will never statisfy them
although i am cocky, i dont feel entirely GREAT because i am not strong
this passion that always kills me...watever u ppl want to define it...i just hate to fall in and out of it...
i wear mask all the time so that people will never get to see the real me...but i do take it off occasionally without realising it
they never understand
i am always treated as a tool for other people's benefits
i can be suicidal...thinking about death and people will feel when die
everyone is so perfect but i'm not...
im a useless piece of shit...
i dont feel appreciated for some reason...
watever their expectations are...

2007-02-14T00:42:00.000+08:00

i'm really exhausted from tonight's training...hahhas...finally i got my first one-on-one training with my sabre coach (i dont know how to spell his name so to save myself from any humiliation i just dont...haiyah u noe wad i mean..hahas)..well it went well...but the fact that im fat is still there...haiz....he made me work that i could barely walk right now...lol...but im happy that i received my individual training...if not i will not be paying him and i'll just train with the national coach instead...hmm...i wonder maybe if i train hard enough and compete actively to get points for my rankings, probably i stand a chance to fence in the SEA Games...lol...muahahahaha...think too much...but seriously thanks to my foil (ahem...) background i can fence sabre well...as in timing and distance...if u peeps don't know what i'm talking about, just ignore me...as u can see im crapping tonight...again...i thought i always do..muahahahahaha...oh my goodness la...

i desperately need to improve my engrish... )': during choir today ms teo was just joking around with the choir members...then she asked,"how many chicken have you killed now?".. then i replied,"i lost MY count..." oh shit, i dont know how that 'my' just came out from my mouth but it just did...i tried to correct myself but i didnt bother...haiyah...then i pronounced Franz Ferdidnand as FRANS-FERDINAN...argggggggghhh!!!!!!!!!!! oh my goodness la...no wonder my lit got b3...my engrish just sucks...speaking of chior practice i will be singing 'ice kacang(WOOT!!)' for the choir recital...yer perth song...hahas i promoted that song at perth...hahas...missed that place...and practice starts on thursday...maybe i will be coming...maybe not...but oh what the hell just come for the sake of it...today's choir practice was okay...it's choir-like...hahas...nothing much...yer...

TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!or today...OH MY GOODNESS LAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i'll just be hanging out with faliq and harshan...normal routine...play pool and uh go milf-hunting...maybe...hahhas....then EMO!!!!hahahas.....im gonna do something stupid...again....but i doubt it's gonna work...like fat hope sia....haiz...but try la...my boi carez are gonna be laughing their ass off!!!!hahahas...

2007-02-12T00:31:00.000+08:00

ok... i haven't posted anything abt my Os results experience or any shit like that ....and i dont want to bcoz it's too embarrassing...hahas...shall not say...

as for my results...I MADE IT TO SOMEWHERE BESIDES ITE!!!!!!!!WOOOT!!!!HAHAHAHAS!!!

overall i screwed up my paper a little bit...but i improved a lot...by THREE GRADES!!!! WWOOOT!!!! okay im getting insane...hahas....

my L1R5=22
my L1R4-16

for fuck i know that i screwed it up okay...i was hoping for some As but umm....hahahas...it's okay....hahas....at least i am qualified almost all the courses in the poly ard singapore.....except for aeronautical engineering...sobs..i missed the minimum requirement by a grade...and mass comm...same story...
i am considering music and audio technology (woah!!!!) hahaas...but im afraid to be a washed up singer songwriter/composer...oh well...im just gonna risk it then...anyway no more repeats of last year man...fucking slackery..hahas...gotta work hard to get to a decent University now...hahas....hopefully overseas...im sick of Singapore's tight system bullshit that restricts my freedom of expression and speech...im trying to act pro in the middle of the night now so i dont give a shit...i decided not to take the JPSAE scheme...wait...i dont think i am eligible for it....OH MY GOODNESS LA!!!! hahas...and i am not fencing for any tertiary institution i will be studying later...

i am going to improve my engrish this time....my vocab power just sucks la...i would'nt be able to write songs if my ENGISH SUCKS!!!!!!! i got a f***ing B4 for english....i was expecting better....damn i really screwd up my Os....nevermind i will retake my Os after diploma...only english, litreature and one other subject i cannot be bothered to think of right now...

list of courses i wish to take:

from SP

aerospace electronics
mecahnical engineering
music and audip technology
infocomm secuirity management
mechatronics
optometry

from NP

aerospace electronics
aerospace technology
EARLY CHILHOOD!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAS!!!!!!!
NURSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAS!!!!!!!!
psychological and community services....oh my goodness la!!!!!

from RP

mechatronics (aerospace avionics)

of all courses...NURSING!!!!!!! hahahahas...i will never imagine myself as a nurse and wearing a uniform to school....hahahas...i cant even tolerate my grandma's whinings...hahahas...anyway...watever happened...it's for a reason and just make the best use out of it...so yeah,,,

WOOT!!!!!!!!!!! hahas

2007-02-04T00:36:00.000+08:00

it's official.....i get invited in!!!!!! WOOT!!!!! hahahahas....FS invited me into the junior squad....damn im in the nationals...hahahas...yer...4 times a week 3 hrs a day....bring it man...so long i get the prestige....hahahas...

5 days before Os results will be released....gosh im dead scared....oh my goodness la....hahas...seriously...haiz....

choir recital gonna start on 1st week of april...haiz...then choir camp in a few weeks time...watever la sia...hahaas..

ive never felt so stupid...pathetic and so sucky before!!!! damn im suck like a bitch now...

INCEST!!!!

2007-01-28T11:49:00.000+08:00

You are God's mistake
Simply a fucking waste of skin
He shouldn't have made you in the first place
Because you suck like a bitch...

What are you doing here?
You bloody son of the bitch
Don't you come any nearer
Cause you deserve to live in a ditch

I came but I never saw
Ijust looked through glass
Because you are one of her bastards
Who turned out to be your blood
your flesh and your wedded wife

You're still living in this piece of shit
Damn why They didn't kill you
I'm standing here mutilating you.....
now....WHY?! WHY?!

BLEED AND DIE!!!!!!!

2007-01-28T11:42:00.000+08:00

Ten years i promised
Waiting for you
But all the things that had happened
I don't know what i have turned into...

You gave me hope
That there may still be a chance
Do you really mean what you said
Or is it just some fucking lies...

Three months I suffered
Though Time made it forever
All the stars that shine through me
And somehow it just lied to me...

Now I'm moving on
Cause you just put me off
Past is catching up
Please....FUCK OFF!!!!

untitled

2006-12-21T19:55:00.000+08:00

it's been a veeeerrryyy long time since i posted...hahahs...so i might as well post one now....ahahas...okay ..im crappin'..enuf of that

i'm dead bored ever since school ended....beginning to miss school...haiz...anyway i decided not to get a job. i just want to spend this time training....i gotta train anyway...since i am getting overweight..so yer..just train...but then i think my parkour training is affected because of the monsoon season here )': ....look on the bright side...at least i can concentrate on losing weight and fencing rite...-_-..

hahas...
okay i shall stop now....i got nothing else to type...no inspiration...hahas

free at last!!!!

2006-11-21T00:10:00.000+08:00

wwwwwwwwwoooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM LIKE SOOOOOO FREEEEEEE FROM EXAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO MORE FUCKING O-LEVELS THAT EVERY SINGLE B******* AND B****** OF US NEED TO GO THROUGH!!!!!!!!!!NO MORE OF SUCH FUCKING EXAMS THAT MADE US OH SO FUCKING DEPRESSED AND FAT!!!!!!!!!!MUAHAHAHAAHAS!!!!!!FUCK O-LEVELS EXAMINATIONATIONS MAN!!!!!!!SO IF ANYBODY ASK ME HOWS THE O-LEVEL PAPERS I SAY "SHUT THE FUCK UP MAN AND YOU GO TO THE BLOODY SYSTEM TO SUCK MY COCK AND SCREW YALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAS...

ok....that was it....forgive me everyone for my...oh nevermind....yer...now that O-levels is history....i got a lot...i mean a LOT of things to do now...oh btw...i got to get ready for prom...argh so busy....but nevermind only for one night...dont quite care now....i went to a gig yesterday....met up with wei jun and then went into gas haus with an empty stomach...:( never go to a gig with an empty stomach...i mean i didnt eat for like the whole day....saw tanglin's very own 2cm on the second floor...then saw shikin, justine, ben, hong yi, stacey, aarti, (jiayi or jiaqi...im confused....hahahas),rebecca,hafiz,hisyam and the rest la...when i got there...wow....i didnt see the whole band is like feeling damn nervous la....then i watched this all girls band....im not going to critic everyone uhh coz i dont feel i dont have the right to...i just want to enjoy...next band...everybody started to crowd around...does this ring a bell (ring!ring!lol)...i joined in straightaway...knowing what to expect...hafiz didnt want to join in becoz physically he's not up for it...wei jun...too scared...so i go alone to 'dance'...hardcore music start playing...chorus...evrybody....MOSH PIT!!!!!!!pushing and kicking and punching and elbowing everybody...hahahas....i got kicked in the stomach...punched in the eye...and head...i kicked somebody in the ass and elbowed evryone...hahahs...i forgot that i didnt eat...then i was like oh shit...im screwed...hahas...after the first song....thank god i was still breathing...and wanting for more...second song....a wilder mosh....with some stage dives...okay la...i was quite lucky didnt get anything...hahas...my favourite one was the cover song...one grp on one side...the other grp on the other...so there's a gap in between...hahahs...like riot like that...waiting for the music..then....CHARGE!!!!hahahas....this time i fell...i got freaked out...scared if ppl step onto me....hahahas....so foolish...yer...then got up....continued moshing...hahahas....after the whole performance...i was dead tired...and hungry....then went to have dinner at some indian shop....eat murtabak....ben cheo was like "what's this?" hahahas...after that i and hafiz went back to gas haus....listening to slow rock, indie and hard rock and classic rock and emo....basically not screamo,metal and hardcore...was relaxing listening to the music...btw...the band was great...didnt know what the band's name was but loved their songs and vocals....the second band was fairly wikid...the female vocalist gave me goosebumps...lol...her singing was great...then when it came to the third band...wasnt as good...my guess was lack of experience...and it was quite annoying cause they kept tuning their guitar while making the audience wait for them....then there's a drunk ang-moh....making a scene and made evryone in the club laughed....he argued with the vocalist of the last band...he kept requesting for guns and roses "sweet child O'mine"....and he kept singing.....where do we go....where do we go now...lol....the vocalist was pissed and he said.....youre drunk u old man.....and start listening to new music...fat drunk....lol....then they play franz ferdinand....take me out and do u want to....the drunk.....WHERE DO WE GO....WHER DO WE GO NOW!!!!!....hahahahas.......after that i go home....
latr upload pics....didnt tale the mosh pits coz battery flat!!!! :(...
nevermind anything got 24th of dec......gas haus...

dont forget.... CARACAL IS PERFORMING @ CLUB MOMO ON THE 21ST NOVEMBER....SO SEE YALL THERE!!!!PEACE....AND

ROCK ON!!!!!!!!!

SWEET CHILD O' MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAHAHAHAS

tanglin secondary school graduation ceremony 2006

2006-10-14T13:52:00.000+08:00

13th october 2006, friday. this marks my last official day being a tanglinian. it has been four years in this school and i'm finnaly out. ahahas... time just flies when you're stressed up with the upcoming exams without remembering those happy times we all had together. well i attended the ceremony with my brudders and took a lot of pics. well i want to take as many pics i can because this is my last day in school and...oh never mind. hmm...it seems that everybody were having so much fun and during the ceremony i can see tears flowing on everyone's faces....especially mrs Koh...hahas...caught on tape...i am sure gonna miss the school...as in the memories shared with classmates...come to think of it...this year has been a blast...a lot of things happened in just a limited amount of time...prelims...Os...perth trip...all those heartbreaking moments i went through...haiz..feeling a litlle emo right now while listening to graduation songs....hahahas...to me year '06 has been the most in everything...the most fucked up...the most memorable...the most slack..the most sad...the most emo...the most....and it goes on....haiis...spending the last time with my classmates and mrs koh...oh btw...she aint teaching in tanglin anymore...and i dont think a lot of my teachers are still teaching in tanglin next year...so...well i dont know...whatever happens next year...let it happen huh...hahas...

well it seems that the chapter of my secondary school life has ended and a new one is about to unfold. we are going to on our separate ways but we will always remember the life we spent during these four years in this school. we must always move on but never leave our past behind because that had made us who we are now. remembering those conflicts, laughter and tears shed together. this will always remain in y heart and i will never forget those times we had spent together...hopefully our paths will cross and we meet each other again...and seeing what we have become after ten years...because do not worry....do not fret...because this day just marks...

The End Of The New Beginning

to all tanglin graduates of 2006

there is something in the air tonight

2006-09-30T07:31:00.000+08:00

A sudden chill. There's something coming in the air tonight. What is this feeling, so portentous, so unpredictable. I gripped my rapier hilt hard. I must anticipate for something but I do not know what. Despite being warped by confusion, I continued my journey to the church. A duel awaits me. Our families have been fighting for years and the conflicts we shared were never resolved. My heart burned with so much vengeance and hatred I did not care whatever happens to me, as long as my family's honour is restored. He murdered my wife and my little angels. Why, why them? They had got nothing to do with this dispute. Why must they bear the consequences. Little blots of water droplets flowed down my cheeks clenching my fist so hard as i put up a negative smile on my face. The atmostphere was still very cold and tense. This was one of the worst nights I ever experienced in my whole life spent in Paris. The sound of my boots clashing with the brick road echoed as i walked in this silent night. I knew one of the bloody Capulets is following me trailing my every step. I hated stalkers. They make me feel so intimidated and hostile. I stopped and stand still, then i turned behind.

" Show yourself!!! There is no reason for you to hide! I know you're there", I yelled.

Yet, there was no response. Fine, have it your way. I drew my gun and fired a shot. BANG!!! It was so loud that it could wake those who we resting in peace. Then the atmostphere turned cold, slient and tense all over again. A young Capulet showed himself. Aged thirteen I thought. Marcel would have been about this age if he were still alive. The young capulet appeared to be shivering. Tears rolled down his cheeks.

" I'm not letting you go and kill my father!!! You cannot do this!!! I won't let you!! ", he drew a gun.

I sense fear and despair by the look in his eyes. I never intended to kill a Capulet. I only wanted to regain my family's lost honour. I never mean to murder this boy's mother. I remembered that incident which had still haunt me for years.

"Go home, you are of no use here," i muttered. "Don't waste your life by attempting to kill me," I continued as i gripped my magnum and aim it towards him. He froze and his shivers seemed more intensed.

"No Logan. This is not the way. He had got nothing to do with this," I pulled the trigger.

Again the noise echoed through the still air. The gun held by that young Capulet flew in the air and dropped heavily to the ground. The young capulet just froze in shocked, thinking whether he was dead or unfortunately still alive. More tears flowing down his cheeks and he started to cry violently.

"Go home boy. Don't even try to hurt me because your efforts will be futile," i whispered as i continued on to my journey.

Finally i had reached the church, where Leo was waiting for me. The air seemed colder than it was before. Not knowing what cause it, I'm trying to overcome my ownm personal fear of .....dimly-lit candles light up the pitch-black courtyard of the church. Hostility and vendetta soon walked into the courtyard stealthily. I felt every muscle cells in my body had turned subzero. I could'nt move. I finally realised why it is a good thing to say your prayers before starting anything that is really important to you. The preciding judge came soon after. Dressing formally, he muttered in his French accent "Gentlemen, you know ze rules. First blood drawn wins. En garde gentlemen."

" That is why we're here," I bellowed with anger and such vengeance in my tone, refusing to fight first. " I will never forgive you for what you did to my family name, such disgrace. Although our family had been rivals, I still treated you like my brother. We were friends since we were little. We did not care about our family rivalries because we thought that it was STUPID!!!!!!!! Just what are you trying to prove!!!"

" Gentlemen please, we are here zo fence. Zere shouldn't be..."

" What I am trying to prove aye? The answer to your quetions is that to be better than YOU!!!" said Leo.

I was completely stunned." What do you mean?"

" You are always better than me in everything I do! You always steal the limelight from me!!! I wasn't able to prove myself to be in the Capulet family!! My family didn't trust me just because I am your friend. This is what I am destined for. From that time I no longer consider you as my friend but a member of the Belle family, the family that the Capulets despise most!! Now I've said what I am trying to prove, now fence!!"

"Gentlemen, engarde, ready...fence"

to be continued........LAME!!!!!!!!hahahas....

perth trip memories

2006-09-16T20:14:00.000+08:00

perth trip photos....still remember how we got mooned

at the airport

my immortal

2006-09-16T20:09:00.000+08:00

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time can not erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time can not erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

asian schools champs 2006

2006-09-05T00:50:00.000+08:00

some things i heard during the 1st asian schools champs 2006....
sadly i can only recall the cheers from the malaysians...
here goes...

'go malaysia gemilang...malaysia gemilang...hoohaa!!!'
'malaysia boleh! malaysia boleh! malaysia boleh! boleh! boleh!!'
tepuk sekali! tepuk dua kali! tepuk tiga kali!tepuk...tepuk...tepuk...MALAYSIA!!!!'

yer basically thats it....hmm...so patriotic...

no promises...

2006-09-02T21:57:00.000+08:00

it's been weeks since we talked. though we hide our faces from each other, the image of your beautiful face is still fresh in my confused and disillusioned mind. filled with doubt, guilt and confusion, i feel as if i am tearing myself apart. i've seen the moon but not you, i've seen the sunsets and all the sunrises, but they are nothing compared to your beautiful face. i miss you like the sun misses the flower, like the sun misses the flower in the cold hard and emotionless depth of winter. like the rose enduring the cold of the winter, i have become too. i become cold and hard like i have been like this before. i became harsh and cold due to my ego and hunger for your love. like i said by staring into your eyes, and you staring back at mine, Time just freezes. my mind become a vacuum. it makes me feel very haapy, at the same time so sad. it makes me feel very strong yet very sad and doubtful and it makes me feel very bold and the same time so cowardly. basically i do not know how i exactly feel, except the kind of man i want to be. it's like i have reached the unreachable and never looking back. any way it feels good.

i feel part of me have become incomplete. it has been weeks since we hide our eyes from each other. i dont know why but i dont want to think to much because i never want to repeat the same mistakes because only fools make the same mistakes. i am no fool. it is ironic because i am like one now. i dont know whether i am too late or i am just being such a fool. maybe i am just plain stupid. it is as if i am trying to have the universe in my own hands. maybe i really need to wait for ten years and see if fate is being fair to me.

i don't want to hide my face anymore. i don't want to run away anymore. act happy and putting on masks. just fuck it i don't care i dont wanna do this anymore. i want to live my life like how i used to and it has been bugging me. i'm here without you. i am trapped in my whole hectic life which i wish it would be made much simpler. i love you but i just cant show and i guess i never will. i feel so lonely and quiet though i am surrounded with a lot of people. i sat still staring blankly at the stars in the night. at the same time i reminisced all the time we had during the march holidays and i laughed at myself for the stupidest things we used to do. melancholy soon filled the air, knowing that feelings change and everything changes. can't accept the fact that those things we did have become some mere memories. i dont want us to be beligerent anymore. i dont want us to jeopardise our friendship that we had since we just met...but there is no promises that these can be fulfilled...................................

i swear

2006-09-02T21:53:00.000+08:00

I swear by the the moon
And the stars in the skys
And i swear like the
Shadow that's by your side

I see the questions in your eyes
I know what's weighing on your mind
You can be sure i know my part
'cause i stand beside you through the years
You'll only cry those happy tears
And though i make mistakes
I'll never break your heart

And i swear by the moon
And the stars in the skys i'll be there
I swear like the shadow that's by your side
I'll be there
For better or worse
Till death do us part
I'll love you with every beat of my heart
I swear

I'll give you every thing i can
I'll build your dreams with these two hands
We'll hang some memories on the wall
And when just the two of us are there
You won't have to ask if i still care
'cause as the time turns the page
My love won't age at all

And i swear by the moon
And the stars in the skys i'll be there
I swear like the shadow that's by your side
I'll be there for better or worse
Till death do us part i'll love you
With every beat of my heart and i swear
And i swear by the moon
And the stars in the skys i'll be there
I swear like the shadow that's by your side
I'll be there
For better or worse
Till death do us part i'll love you
With every single beat of my heart
I swear i swear i swear

landing in london

2006-08-19T20:54:00.000+08:00

I woke up today in London
As the plane was touching down
And all I could think about was Monday
When maybe I’d be back around

If this keeps me away much longer
I don’t know what I would do
You got to understand it’s a hard life,
that I’m going through

And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way
Cuz all I think about is you

L A is getting kind of crazy
And New York is getting kind of cold
I keep my head from getting lazy
I just can’t wait to get back home

And all these days I spend away
Ill make up for this I swear
I need your love to hold me up
When it’s all to much to bear

And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way
Cuz all I think about is you

And all these days I spend away
Ill make up for this I swear
I need your love to hold me up
When it’s all to much to bear

And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way
Cuz all I think about is you

2006-08-13T19:59:00.000+08:00

7 medals and trophies...4 yrs of fencing....

2006-08-12T21:16:00.000+08:00

wwwhhheeee!!!!!!!!!!!

i need a lot...i mean a LOT of practice...dratz....

fencing photos...

2006-08-12T00:43:00.000+08:00

my very first girlfriend!!!!!!lol... we have certainly been through good and bad times since umm....2004?..anyway mr. wong told me that i needed two more ladies in case my favourite gurl die-ed.....lol...
my official FSI 2006 name tag...

hey not bad for my first international competition...at least i made it through the first rounds....hahahs

this is what i love to do....heheheeee.....

2006-08-12T00:26:00.000+08:00

handstand! handstand! handstand!!!!!
in the meamtime i need to work on my 540.....looked really sucked though....
practicing on my butterfly kick...in the library....hahahs...i know i shouldnt be doing this but who the hell cares...

the sunset....

2006-08-11T01:04:00.000+08:00

staring at the horizon
across the yellowish blue, at the same time orange sky
listening to the crashing waves
see the birds fly high

laying myself on white sand
as soft as the pillow
smelling the salty air
watching clouds float past the sky

sounds of rustling leaves showed a sign
as Wind carassed my face
like a woman's kiss
touched it as gentle as a dove

reminiscing, wondering
how Man can not just stop
from his hectic life
just to see the sun setting

keeping silent, and experience
the stillness of Time
but at the same time
observe God's creation

listening to Nature's voice
appreciating its beauty
which made them rethink their life
what do i really want to be?