Thursday, March 30, 2006

bored....

drats....school has been really boring.....so diffrent from CCC......miss you heaps...hahas...oh well.....i hate my knee injury....i cant parkour for quite a while...maybe i should go and see a doctor....yes national trials will be held in this weekend....i am so not prepared for it.....no time.....i am having my FOCUS 6 times a week.....wtf...gonna work hard this year....for Os...
yea i've de veloped my photos i took from perth...i am so missing perth alreadi...
haiz....

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Fallen Sailors and Soldiers Memorial


we visited this memorial when we reached Fremantle on Sunday morning. God to be frank i was seriously in the mood, though we didnt spent that much time there. I was almost in tears but i held it up because i got to save my pride. These warriors i might say, they died for what they believed in, kicking Hitler and his army's ass and fought for their loved ones and for themselves. These values : honour, pride, loyalty, brotherhood and patriotism. These was what brought themselves together. Putting their diffrences aside and fight for a common cause and their beliefs. I considered them as patriots, because they died fighting in the war, defending their country, race, religion and culture and their people and bring honour to the country. In my opinion,

a patriot is one who fights for what he believed in; although he realises that he may risk his life while fighting for it and bring honour to his family, people and country.

well i wrote this short story in memory of those who died in the WW1, WW2, The Cold War, Vietnam war, the Korean war and the Russian Civil War and other wars that the country is invoved. Civilian or citizen soldiers......this is for all of you:

at last i got the chance to relax and put my guard down a little, a little confident that the situation is safe...for now...well i got to take this chance to rest or i will have to rest forever and never wake up from this long sleep. i tried to close my eyes but the fear of being killed made me to be very vigilant. i cant sleep, my eyes were looking around as i recalled from the fierce battle i had. the number of casualties were too high excluding the injured. we were shortage for food and ammunition and i overheard my higher authorities that another wave of attack is coming our way. i gazed into my other comrade's beady eyes, each one of those showed despair, disappointment and hopelessness. for the first time i am no longer afraid of Death, i wonder what happen to me after i die? will i necessarily go to Heaven just because i fought a war? my father once said that a warrior who goes on a crusade will step on the footsteps of Heaven and will get to meet Him. i was quite confused, and who is the enemy actually? which party was right in the war and who is actually fighting for the right cause. from what i see, during the battle people just kill people and there is only bloodshed and screamings, explosions and gunshots have become a song in my ears and unconscious bodies lying around the body have become a beautiful scenery of the park around the corner of my neighbourhood in my eyes....well if it is still there. what is life? why does God give life to Man? do they really deserve to live, by looking at what they did in their life?i wonder...

i drank my last cup of my favourite organic green tea, probably the last cup in my life. i talked to my comrades and tried to make them happy and forget of the sufferings they had during the previous battles. again i asked myself, 'what am i fighting for?', is it true that i fought for the honour of my country like i used to say before going to war? what am i fighting for? i spent probably the last moments of my life wondering...is it for my homour, people,culture and religion...or just a matter of keeping alive and avenging Her death..it breaks my heart to see her die like that...i loved her and i promised myself that i would protect her with my life, now that she is gone, all that is left inside me is now sorrow, anger, revenge and loneliness.'BANG!!!!' i heard an explosion and gunshots, in a matter of seconds Death had claimed the lives of all of my comrades and my officers, i was alone in this losing battle. i was terrified and prayed hard...god give me strength....suddenly i recalled what my garndfather had told me..."we are patriots....we are those warriors who fought for what they believed in and died for it. we are those kind of warriors who dont mind going to heaven but will always fight for what we believed in. honour, pride, integrity, race, culture and religion. we are those kind of warriors who dont care where we will end up when we fight for what we believed in!!"..

god have granted me strength to fight my fears and overcome my obstacles. the fire in my heart had become bigger and i can feel the heat around my body. the fighting spirit inside me is as hot as the burning inferno. i gripped my sabre real hard. i dashed towards the enemy, darwing my sword at the same time as i shouted 'GOD IS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'




yeah...on my way home back to singapore..on my way....home sweet home....leaving perth and my fond memories behind...though i will take the good and meaningful ones with me...

hahas....yeah...that was one of the pic we took at perth...well it was our first day in our service apartment and everybody were like really excited...my bois and i..hahas...memories...





perth trip 06...

Thursday, March 23, 2006

just feel better

She said I feel stranded
And I can't tell anymore
If I'm coming or I'm going
It's not how I planed it
I've got the key to the door
But it just won't open
And I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
That life happens for a reason
I don't, I don't, I don't
It goes I never went before
But this time, this time
I'm gonna try anything to just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better
And I can't find my way
God I need a change
And I do anything to just feel better
Any little thing to just feel better
She said I need you to hold me
I'm a little far from the shore
And I'm afraid of sinking
You're the only one who knows me
And who doesn't ignore
That my soul is weeping
I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
Everything must have it seasons
Round and round it goes
And every day's a one before
But this time, this time
I'm gonna try anything to just feels better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better
And I can't find my way
God I need a change
And I do anything to just feel better
Any little thing to just feel better
I'm tired of holding on
To all things I ought to leave behind, yeah
It's really getting nowhere
I think I need a little help this time!
I'm gonna try anything to just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better
And I can't find my way
God I need a change
And I do anything to just feel better
Any little thing to just feel better

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

here without you

alright i am back from perth....now i am missing the cool weather and the ppl there...though i was excited to be back home...i still wanted to stay longer....oh wells....life must go on...on the way back home...i was recalling the things we had done for the 7 whole days.....its a blast...i am gonna keep all these good and meaningful memories and experiences i had with me...and a few other bad ones...now its 3 am i am so tired and i will update more on my reflections at perth...but first let me have something to say to my 'BOI' and her...

fuck you bitch!!!if you think playing with my feelings was really amusing....you dont know me yet!!i didnt do anything wrong to you...i dont have anything against you either...but why..tell me why...if you think that getting rid of me would provide you an easy path to him...argh...i dont know what to say...but please stop do this...i cant take it anymore..you were playing me on that very night...i know your selfish motive behind this...i realised you have been using me all along..one of the reason why i was pissed off and fucked up was because of YOU!!!!

hey my boi....you bastard...i treated you like my own little brother...is this how you repay me..huh you motherfucker...i would have beaten up your ass that very night..i was frustrated..i trusted you...you were my boi...you would rather stab your own boi in the back just for one selfish bitch...let me tell you something...that girl is playing you....SHE is just using you to help her get to him...you'll regret it..from now onwards you can get the fuck out of my life with her and never get close to me again..you were my boi...how could you just merely gang up on me with her and the others..i aint respecting you no more....u be my friend but not my boi anymore...

a hundred days have made me older
since the last time that i saw your pretty face
a thousand lies have made me colder
and i dont think i cant look at this the same

but all the miles that seperate
disappear now when i'm dreaming of your face

i'm here without you baby
but you're still own my lonely mind
i think about you baby
and i dream about you all the time
i'm here without you babay
but you're still with me in my dreams
and tonight
it's only you and me

the miles just keep rollin
as the people leave their way to say hello
i've heard this life was overated
but i hoped that it gets better as we go

i'm here without you babay
but you're still on my lonely mind
i think about you baby
and i dream about you all the time
i'm here without you baby
but you're still with me in my dreams
and tonight girl
its only you and me

everything i know
anywhere i go
it gets hard but it won't take away my love
when the last one falls
when its all said and done
it gets hard but it wont take away my love

i'm here without you baby
but you;re still on my lonely mind
i think about you baby
and i dream about you all the time
i'm here without you baby
but youre still with me in my dreams
and tonight girl its only you and me

Saturday, March 11, 2006

drats....i suck at my CA...now i feel left out..dont want to show my results coz it is too embarrassing...
thats it...i am gonna start working hard rite now...if not i will not be able to get to where i want to be....OCS..ahaaha....serious...i have been too lazy...i am making progreas for this year...but its not enough..i am planning to cut down my training days...anyway i cant parkour for 2 months...drats....use the energy for all the 9 subjects...i dont wanna see myself get a very sucky L1R5....have to start now...i wont be enjoying all day in perth...i gotta study....i am losing out....so bringin TYS along....and the hols assignment...

now....i got....7 months to go....fight it....

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

great.....3 more days to perth..how cite...
this countdown shit is really making me impatient...
just finished packing and i realised that i still got other shit to buy...shit..
my knees are killing me rite now...but guess what...
i had 2.4 km run on tuesday and my timing was 10:38 minutes...
WWWOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
CONFIRM GOLD FOR MY NAPFA TEST!!!!!
fat guy get gold....thats the first...
now have to focus on recovering my knee....hahas...
my room will be shared by aidil, jon,edrik and nico...oh yeah....
party the whole night...
whatever it is.....gotta make a point to study.....especially A'maths....since i am not allowed to drop it...
thanks to mrs oei's propaganda....and gave us a 1 hour and 30 minute long speech on 'reasons why you are not allowed to drop any O-level subjects now'
anyway i started to click with A'maths and now i dont want to drop A'maths.....haha....i am so in deceisive...
for sure i am gonna miss mum's cooking and my favourite food cause it will be 1 week no singaporean food diet...(i am being so nonsensical these days....prolly coz not have been sleeping well....hahahas....oh well)
national trials on 2nd of april.....i am gonna beat his ass upside down and downside up....watch me....anybody who wants to get that place in the nationals have to go through me.....bring it on....
hahaha.....

Monday, March 06, 2006

drats.....5 more days to perth trip....i still havent pack a single thing..
but still excited.....leaving SEA for the first time.....meeting ryan too....
hahas....still rmb the day they came to my school.....had loads of fun...
i still cannot decide what to perform for the thursday night....
i know that i am gonna sing....as i do always....but do know what song...
now i am watching a parkour documentary...not doing any hw and
ignoring my sis who is on the phone and waiting for the bloody comp patiently
hahahas....dun care.....

i cant parkour for a long time....my knees are gone....drats...only for a few weeks...
cant train too hard either....haiz....fencing....so my last resort....weights training and
running....hahahas....

whatever it is.....these 5 days seemed very slow....cannot wait for the trip...
i'll be in the same room with my boys....oh yess....but too bad hafiz will not be joining us...
ahh....it dosent matter coz we still gonna enjoy ourselves together....haha

whatever happens in perth....stays in perth...

Saturday, March 04, 2006

7 more days...

oh yes...
just a week before the perth trip...
oh yes im excited alright...
1 week with my boys....
relaxing in our own service apartment....
while the girls will cook breakfast....
hahahaha...
hey...in return we have to carry their heavy luggages...drats..
dont know wad they will bring along with them...
well...i know its gonna be damn fun...
yes at last i get to meet alyce, hollie and jemma again...oh yes...how i missed them..
but i must make a point to study too....
o's comin....oh yea im pumped up for it..

gonna have rugby match on monday....
AT LAST!!!!a friendly match against a class....
but my opponent will be...
issac's class....
die it will be david against goliathe...
just hope that goliathe screw up again....hahaha....oh wells..

this one week...i know that its gonna be a blast...well
this time i will shut the hell up....and do my thing...
and you do yours...
been trying to...but i cant help it....cant stop thinkin of you...
but whatever it is....i am gonna act like nothing had happen...
anyway whatever it is....
whatever happens in perth....
stays in perth....

Friday, March 03, 2006

i found something interesting during physics lesson at mr. goh's homeroom....probably came from someone who just broken up from somebody.....i am such a busybody...hahas...

it's in malay...so i will try to translate it...here goes...

you are the gem in my heart and my life....the one that i love, the light of ray which will always shine the darkest corner of my heart...because of you...i will always miss you my love...loyal to you...though i will always find the sincerity in your heart...
you and me will always be together....till death do us part...the palace we have built...beautifully decorated with red roses...the passion of love that you gave me is one thing that i will never forget...the way you teated me when we were together is one thing that i will cherish for as long as i live....i will always miss you my love...wou and me will part for a long time....but i know that one day there is a possibility that we might be together again....goodbye for now...i will take my broken heart away from you...i dont want to be your burden...with the stories of my love to you and my insane desires...no matter how much you have hurt me, you will always be in my my heart......

wow...this is so i dont know wad to say....but when i read this note....it reminds me of her....that time when i was really crazy....oh wells...

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

right here wating........

ocean's apart...day after day
and i slowly go insane...
i hear your voice on the line...
but it dosent stop the pain
if i see you next to never
how can we say forever

wherever you go...
whatever you do...
i will be right here waiting for you...
whatever it takes
or how my heart breaks
i will be right here waiting for you

i took for granted...all the times
that i thought would last, somehow
i hear the laughter, i taste the tears
but i cant get near you now
oh, cant you see it baby
youve got me goin' crazy

wherever you go..
whatever you do...
i will be right here waiting for you
whatever it takes
or how my heart breaks
i will be right here waiting for you

i wonder how can we survive
this romance
but in the end, if im with you
i'll take the chance

wherever you go
whatever you do
i will be right here waiting for you..
whatever it takes
or how my heart breaks...
i will be right here waiting for you..
waiting for you..
aite...school was fine...had both math common test papers.....just want to pass this shit...dont want to end up like last year....f9 for A'maths....gives me the creeps...come to think of it....i've slacked a lot last year...didnt focus much....more to fencing....well i spent the whole june hols training and it was worth it...at least ppl do not underestimate me during competitions...but...my studies really just sucks....mrs. Koh advised me to drop A'maths...then i was like ....HELL NO!!!i cant go to the Science stream without A'maths.....if only a jc offer H1 maths for sciece stream....i really disliked math....though i realised the importance of it...oh well.....just have to practice harder...

most ppl got their own sense of pride...especially the guys...but when they were challenged...they would not do it...they always talk big but they dont really mean what they say...so much for the manliness...so be careful of your own words...or it might kill you...your life is more important than your pride....i would respect this guy because although he has lost everything including his life completely....he still got the honour and courage to live on with life.....and of commiting suicide...bating his way through life...